


Death Is Not The End

by clexa_choni



Series: Someday [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 23:12:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 30,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8509240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexa_choni/pseuds/clexa_choni
Summary: Lexa has told Clarke "Death is not the end" but it isn't until after her death that she finally believes it. Now that she's in our world, her main goal is to try to survive in the modern world and to find Clarke, who's still stuck in the "phantom" world and running out of time.





	1. Ai Gomplei Ste Odon

I stared at my reflection, calming my breathing. My cheeks were still flushed from my encounter with Titus. He may be my advisor, my protector, sworn to keep me safe, but he was wrong. My feelings for Clarke did not put either of us in danger! Yes, _jus drein jus daun_ was always our way, but it was no more. Why go to war, always watching people die, when peace could happen, where love could filter through. _Love is weakness,_ I reminded myself out of habit, but no. Love is _not_ weakness. It is strength. Or, it would be, if I knew if Clarke returned the feeling.

The sound of my door closing caused me to jump. _Titus,_ I silently growled. If he was here for another lecture, I would surely call for my guards. I stalked around the corner and stopped in my tracks. It was not Titus. It was Clarke.

Before she uttered a word, I could tell what her news was. She was heading back to her home, to her people. Of course Klark kom Skaikru could not stay with Heda Leksa kom Trikru.

“When are you leaving?” I asked, masking my emotions.

“Now.” She bit her lip, her forehead creasing. “I’m sorry.”

I forced a smile. “Don’t be. You have to go back. They’re your people.” I forced away the tears that threatened to spill. “That’s why I…” I trailed off, not able to say the words. _That’s why I love you_. Instead, “That’s why you’re you.”

“Maybe someday, we won’t owe anything more to our people,” she said, kindling hope. “I hope so,” I whispered

She gave me a thin smile and took a step closer. I held my breath, holding out my arm in the traditional Trikru handshake. She grasped my forearm. “May we meet again,” I said in the traditional Skaikru goodbye, holding back tears. I was _Heda_ of the twelve nations. I wasn’t allowed to have feelings.

Clarke stared at me, fire in her eyes. She closed the space between us, putting her hand against the back of my neck, smashing her lips into mine. The fear of feeling love evaporated and I kissed back with tears rolling down my cheeks. _This is goodbye_. She was rough and passionate, undoing my shirt and pushing me onto the bed. I fell back on the bed, staring up at her. The fire in her eyes brightened. She ripped off her shirt and shoved me down, kissing me harder and more eager than before. She pulled the cover over our entangled bodies as we fell deeper into our forbidden love.

                                                             ****

Clarke rubbed her hand up and down my arm and I felt her warm breath on the back of my neck.

“If Octavia and I are going to get behind to Arcadia by dawn…” she whispered.

“Shh,” I interrupted, not ready to say goodbye quite yet. Not goodbye _. May we meet again_.

She moved to trace her finger down my spine, across the tattoos that lined it. “This is beautiful,” she breathed.

I smiled slightly. “I got it on my ascension day. A circle for every nightblood that died when the Commander chose me.” I frowned, remembering the day. The day were I was chosen to lead my people, and where the other officiates were killed, no longer serving a purpose. They were rejected.

“Seven circles…” she muttered. “I thought you said there was eight officiates at your conclave?”

I stiffened. “There were.”

“What happened to number eight?”

I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the flood of flashbacks. I rolled onto my back, looking at her with pleading eyes. “Can we talk about something else?”

With a smirk, she replied “We don’t need to talk at all.”

I smiled at her and sat up, leaning over her and kissing passionately, blissfully unaware of the world around us.

                                                ****

When Clarke left to prepare herself for her journey home, I dressed and went back to my reflection. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared into the broken glass and for once, I didn’t try to hide or stop them. I let myself cry. I had to see Clarke before she left, to tell her goodbye-no, tell her that I’ll see her again, hopefully soon-in hopes that she wouldn’t forget me. I knew she wouldn’t, but my confidence in our newly found relationship wasn’t as strong as the confidence I had in being Heda. So I dried my eyes and washed my face. I needed to look strong and powerful, not to Clarke, but to those who I may see on the way to her room.

That’s when I heard it.

I had heard that sound only on three occasions beforehand. Even so, the sound was unmistakable. Gunshots. I ran, following the sound of the shots. And the sound led me to Clarke’s room, to her open door. I was stopped at the doorway by a blow, so powerful and painful, to my abdomen.

“Lexa!” Clarke cried.

I gasped, stumbling. I looked down at my stomach, where the black blood began to pool. My legs went from under me and I collapsed, Clarke catching me. Titus, dropping the gun, knelt down. “Help me get her to the bed!” He lifted me, rushing me over and laying me gently on Clarke’s bed.

I looked at her with blurred vision and could see the tears filling her beautiful blue eyes. “Don’t be afraid,” I whispered to her, hot tears stinging my own eyes.

Clarke tore my shirt revealing the wound. She sent Titus to get something to stop the bleeding, but I knew the inevitable. I was dying.

“I will fix you,” she said, staring at me. “Just stay with me!”

Titus moved towards me, and Clarke tried to block him without removing her hands from the wound. “Stay away from her!” But he held up a hand, bending over me. I stared up at him. He was sworn to protect me with his life. And because of him, my life was ending. Because he thought killing Clarke would be beneficial to me. Because of that, because of his paranoia, my fight is ending.

He placed his hands on the sides of my face, and held back his own tears. “Forgive me, Heda.” I swallowed, refusing to say the words, refusing to forgive him. In my native tongue, I said harshly though gritted teeth “You will never again attempt to harm Clarke. Swear it.”

Swallowing a sob, he agreed.

“Then do you job. Serve the next as you have served me, flamekeeper.”

He nodded and walked away before I could see the tears flow down his cheeks.

Clarke leaned in after watching him retreat. “Hey, Heda. Don’t you dare give up.”

“I’m not,” I said, smiling slightly at Clarke’s fierceness. “My spirit will choose-”

 _“No!”_ she growled. “I am not letting you die!”

“There’s nothing you can do now,” I told her. And I knew my words were true. And she knew, but she refused to believe it. “The next Commander will protect you.”

“I don’t want the next Commander!” she paused, drawing in a breath. “I want you!” Tears rolled down her cheeks, her blue eye filled with so much pain. And I was scared. I wasn’t afraid of dying, I knew that was inevitable. I was scared of what my death would do to Clarke. Smart, beautiful, fragile Clarke. Not so long ago I’d picked up the pieces and put her back together. And I was afraid that she would fall apart, and there would be no one to fix her this time. All she wanted was peace. Peace between Skaikru and the coalition. I wanted to give her that, to mend the broken ties through all thirteen clans, but I couldn’t. I failed her. She squeezed her eyes shut, the tears streaming down her pale cheeks freely. She stared at her hands, still pressed against the wound, covered in my blood.

“Clarke,” I gasped. It was getting harder to talk, harder to breathe.

She turned to me with a worried expression. “I’m here.”

 _“Ai gomplei ste odon,”_ I whispered.

“No.” She shook her head, smiling at me through her tears. “I won’t accept that.”

I smiled at her. I remembered when I fell in love with her. When she defied me, so brave and strong, so many months ago. _“Shouldn’t life be about more than just surviving?” she asked me, averting her gaze. “Don’t we deserve that?” I had bit my lip, staring at her. “Maybe we do.”_ I hadn’t believed that then, I just wanted to please her. But I do now. I had never been happier in my eighteen years as I had been the past few weeks with her.

“You were right Clarke.” She looked at me, giving me her full attention. Without her even realizing it, the pressure she had on my stomach to staunch the blood disappeared. “Life is about more than just surviving.”

And she broke. I could _see_ her breaking. She shook her head sobbing, reaching a hand up to stroke my head comfortingly. I could see the look on her face change. She knew I was dying, she knew that she was about to lose me. Stoking my cheek, she straightened, abandoning the wound all together. Through her tears and with a broken voice, she recited the most beautiful quote I have ever head.

“In peace, may you leave this shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey on the ground. May we meet again.”

It was time. I was slipping away, and I desperately tried to keep my eyes on Clarke, to see her face, to tell her I loved her. But it was too late. I felt her lips press against mine, one last time, and I was thankful.

I know Clarke loves me now, and she knows I love her. With the feeling of one last kiss, with one last look at those beautiful blue eyes, I drew my final breathe, and I slipped away.


	2. Ste Yuj

“Come on, Heda, open your eyes.” The familiar voice whispered. I felt a hand brushing against my cheek, another squeezing my hand. I felt the burn in my stomach. _Why does my stomach hurt?_ Everything flashed back to me. Titus, the gun, getting shot, Clarke, _dying_. My eyes flashed open and I tried to jump up, but the searing pain of my stomach and gentle hands pushed me back down. I looked up at the owner of the hands, and warm brown eyes gazed back at me.

_“Anya?”_ I looked around, realizing I was in some sort of hospital. This is what Clarke described the doctor quarters looked like on the Ark. But I couldn’t possibly be in space, on the Ark, could I? “Where am I?”

“You’re safe, Lexa. That’s all the matters.” I shook my head. _“Where am I?”_

“I can’t tell you that, Lexa.”

“I _died_ , Anya. _Ai gomplei ste odon_.”

“You’re alive, Lexa. That’s all that matters.”

I tried to pull away from her. “Clarke.”

“Lay still, Heda! You’ll rip your stitches.” I ignored her, trying to pull away from her. _Where is Clarke?_ “Lexa! I don’t want to call in anyone to restrain you, but if you don’t calm down, then I must!” I fought her, screaming out Clarke’s name. “ _Beja_ , Lexa! _Beja!”_ Too tired and in too much agony to fight anymore, I slumped against her, letting her lay me back down. “ _Mochof_ , Heda. Now sleep.” She kissed my forehead and settled on a chair next to the bed. I closed my eyes, letting myself fall into slumber. The last thing I thought about before slipping into unconsciousness was Clarke’s face.

                                                            ****

“Hey, _Heda_.” I ignored Anya’s voice, burying my face deeper into the pillow.

“I know you aren’t really asleep, little _Heda_.” A new voice spoke.

I jumped out of the bed, flinching at the pain, but reaching up to hug the man. “Gustus!”

He chuckled, holding me tightly. I had missed him so much, and his absence had left a hole in my heart since he’d died. “I wasn’t expecting you here so soon, little Heda.”

“Expecting me?” I struggled to grasp what that had meant.

Anya and Gustus were dead. So how were they here? I am dead, so why am I here? I released him and sat back, staring at him. “Gustus, where are we?”

            “Soon, Heda. Come, you’ve healed well enough to walk, haven’t you?”

            I frowned. “I don’t know.”

            “Heda Leksa does not know something?” Anya grinned.

            She _grinned_. _Anya kom Trikru grinned_. This is the warrior who trained me, who raised me! She taught me not to show emotion and that love was weakness. And here was, smiling and joking.

            I rolled my eyes at her and got up, flinching slightly, but I was up. After spending a week in that bed and wondering how I wasn’t dead, it was good to be up and moving. Even if the moving was very slow. Gustus reached a hand out and gently grabbed my elbow, leading me out of the white room and down a mess of hallways. Anya led with purpose, as if she’s walked these halls a hundred times before. _Maybe she has_. She led us to an elevator shaft, which thankfully I was accustomed to thanks to Polis, so I walked on without a question. Well, I had many questions, but I put them to rest. With a loud ding that left me jumping in fright, the doors open and I walked into the most extravagant place I ever saw. There was red fuzz on the floor, couches and chairs and tables all looking brand new and _modern_. Everything was so… _clean and immaculate_. In Polis, everything was crumbling and covered in a fine layer of dust.

            “Lexa!” I jumped. “Good to see you’ve recovered. We almost thought we’d lost you.”

            “You did. I was dead.”

            “Yes. Yes you were. But we _revived_ you.”

            “Who are you?”

            He grinned at me, almost apologetically. “Christopher Larkin, but you may call me Mr. Larkin if that suits you better. I operate the phantom world.”

            “The _what?_ ”

            “The phantom world. Where you came from.”

            “I came from Polis, Mister. Not some phantom world.”

            “Lexa, _Polis_ isn’t real.” He gave me a sad smile. “None of it is. It was created as an illusion to test the survival skills of three main groups, to see how the human mind and body would adapt, to see how mankind survived.”

            I tried to respond, but I couldn’t. I was too shocked.

            “Our first group was that of the sky in The Ark, who you call _Skaikru_. Second is your group of people, people left on the ground. Third, was those trapped inside a sealed bunker, which is referred to as the _Mountain Men_. The sky, we wanted to see how mankind would survive with being left in space, above a ‘radioactive’ earth. How they would cope with a limited amount of necessities. A hundred years’ worth of food, water, and most importantly, oxygen. They didn’t know the exact number, but they knew everything was limited. They created rations and created the law of one child per family. They’re survival skills surprised us, as well as how they continued with advanced medical skills and technology. And then sending the kids to see if Earth was survivable. Then bringing the Ark to the ground…they surprised us all! And the _Grounders_ -you’re people. How they began the reign of the Commander-”

            _“Heda,”_ I interrupted.

            “How they began the reign of the _Heda_ ,” he continued, “and learned to fight and hunt, learned how to survive. What they could eat, what plants worked for medicines, and best of all, created their own language. _Trigedasleng_ , correct?” I gave him a small nod. “And the _Nightbloods!_ We didn’t see the black blooded children to be a factor, but they were. You were. And then the Mountain Men. Left in a sealed bunker with a hundred years’ worth of food and water. They put together the hazmat suits and developed a way to get fresh water from the dam and discovered how to do indoor farming, making their limited amount of living necessities unlimited! They were quite intelligent.”

            “Capturing my people-mostly _Trikru_ and _Azgeda_ -and draining them for their blood or turning them into Reapers was _intelligent?”_

            “Yes, they did what they needed to do to survive.”

            “ _Ripas_ ,” I hissed. “ _Jus drein jus daun_.”

            At this, his brow furrowed and he looked at Anya, though the glare I gave her made her think twice about translating my deadly worlds. He shrugged and began to walk away, but his earlier words finally registered.

            “Wait!”

            He turned, a curious smile on his face. “Yes?”

            “You said there was only a hundred years of supplies with each group. What would’ve happened after a hundred years if the groups hadn’t discovered to expand their limitations?” He was startled, not expecting this question. It seems as if no one else has picked up on it.

            “It was-it was an estimate. I’ll see you soon.”

            And he walked away, leaving me to ponder the question in my head. Every question I had were all pointed towards a single person. _Clarke_.


	3. Reshop, Heda

Chapter 3: Reshop, Heda

            I watched in fear as the girl I loved began slipping away. My hands, covered in her blood, pressed against the bullet wound. _The bullet was meant for me, she shouldn’t have been shot._

            “Clarke.”

            “I’m here.”

            “ _Ai gomplei ste odon,”_ she said, for me and herself. Her tear filled green eyes stared up at my face, full of pain but also filled with love.

            “No. I won’t accept that.” I knew it was inevitable-she was dying. But I couldn’t admit it. _I couldn’t lose her_.

            “You were right, Clarke,” she whispered. “Life is more than just surviving.”

            I looked away from her, trying so desperately to hold back the sobs that threatened to consume me. Those words that I had told her so many months ago in an attempt to get her to reason to me. The words that made me see her clearly, the words that made me start to fall in love with her. The cold, fearless Commander. And even lying on my bed, dying, she hid her fear and tried her hardest to look strong. To look strong for me. I couldn’t hold it back, I began sobbing. I felt broken and I was afraid that this time I may not be able to be put back together. That was Lexa’s job. I calmed myself, I knew this was it. I knew that I needed to be strong for her. I moved my hands from the wound and stroked her head comfortingly. Taking a deep breath, I told her my goodbye.

            “In peace, may you leave the shore,” I began through my tears. “In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until your final journey on the ground. May we meet again.”

            I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, to let her know how much I truly loved her before she was gone. I pulled away and watched her draw one last breath, and she was gone. Her lifeless green eyes stared past me, a ghost of a smile on her lips. I couldn’t be strong anymore, not with Lexa gone. I broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. I reached up and closed her eyes, my head falling onto her unmoving chest.

            Titus gently pulled me away from her. He scooped her up, cradling her like a small child. He yelled out for guards who opened the doors. “The Commander is dead. Let the conclave begin!”

            They left, locking me in my room and I collapsed on the bed, inhaling the smell of her, feeling the linger of the kiss on my lips.

                                                                        ****

            King Roan of _Azgeda_ opened the doors to my room the next morning and found me curled up in a ball at the foot of my bed. I was cold and all out of tears.

            “Wanheda,” he said softly. I refused to look at him. If I looked at him, I’d be reminded of Lexa and how she was responsible for giving him the position of king of his nation. “Klark kom Skaikru.”

            I looked up at him bitterly. “I’m sorry, _Wanheda_.”

            “For what?” I asked hoarsely.

            “For you losing _Heda_. I don’t know the extent of your relationship with her, but I do know that she held you dearly to her heart and you did for her as well.”

            I looked away.

            “The conclave is beginning shortly. You should be there.”

            “Why? I don’t want to watch another person become Commander. I want _my_ Commander.”

            He sighed. “There will be a funeral pyre.”

            I looked at him, horrified. “You want me to be there to watch them _burn_ her?!”

            He nodded, averting his gaze. “You can say your final goodbyes.” He turned to leave but stopped at my door. “I will send a handmaiden to bathe and dress you.”

            He left me to collapse back on the bed in sobs. _There will be a funeral pyre_. If I watch her burn, then her death will be real. It will mean that she really is gone. It will mean that she won’t walk back into the room with a smile, being truly okay.

                                                            *****

           

            I stared at my reflection bitterly. Here I was, with hand maiden pulling my blonde waves back in intricate braids while Lexa was somewhere being dressed in her war armor to be _burned_ in. _The bullet was meant for me_. One of the maidens reached for my face to make me presentable, to make it look like I hadn’t been crying for the past twenty four hours. I allowed her to, though I didn’t want to look presentable. I didn’t want to look like this was another day. _Lexa was dead_. _I_ was supposed to be shot, not _her_.

            “Wanheda?”

            I ignored Roan’s voice, staring at my reflection pitifully.

            “Clarke,” he said again, entering my chambers. He gently grasped my elbow, helping me up. “It’s time.”

            I followed him numbly. Down the cold hall and onto the elevator shaft. Just a day ago this place felt like home. Lexa lit the place up, making the place a peaceful place to stay. Now the once cheery halls were cold and empty, and her presence was everywhere. I closed my eyes, fighting the tears as Roan led me off the elevator and into the large meeting room. I held in a sob as I stared at Lexa’s body, dressed in her armor, her face painted in war paint, lying on a table where several warriors already gathered at to pay tribute to their fallen _Heda_.

            “Go pay tribute, _Wanheda_. _Fleimkappa_ will expect you to.”

            I turned to stare at Titus. Ripa. He killed her. He kept his face cold, stone-like and nodded at me. _You killed her_.

            “Wanheda, you must pay tribute. You’re one of her Ambassadors. Its ritual too pay the fallen Heda tribute.”

            I refused to budge, not letting my eyes leave Titus. _You killed her_.

            “Wanheda,” Titus spoke up. _Big mistake, buddy_. “Pay your tribute.” Now, the other ambassadors turned to me. _“Wanheda,”_ he said sternly.

            “My name is _Klark kom Skaikru_ ,” I said with venom in my voice. “And _you_ haven’t paid your tribute yet, either, _Titus_.”

            A few of the ambassadors gasped at me using the _Fleimkappas’s_ name instead of his title.

            “I, _Klark kom Skaikru_ , pay tribute to the rising _Heda’s_ , not the fallen ones.”

            And I lost it. _“The reason she’s fallen is because you killed her!”_ I screamed.

            Roan turned to me with horror on his face. Everyone in the room was looking worriedly between the two of us.

            “Nonsense,” Titus growled.

            “You shot her with a _Skaikru_ weapon and you blamed her death on my friend! _You killed her_.”

            Titus swayed lightly, and other noticed. They all turned to him. “ _You_ were supposed to die, not _her_! I was shooting at _you_! _You_ should be dead, not _her_!”

            A collective gasp shuddered through the room. A swarm of guards grasped a struggling Titus and dragged him away, the crowd all yelled in both Trigedasleng and English, and I left Roan’s side to grasp Lexa’s cold hand and I gave her one last kiss. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. Roan pulled me away after what felt like eternity.


	4. Home

Chapter 4: Home

“Heda.”

I kept my back to Gustus as he entered the room I was kept in. I was sitting cross-legged on the rough sheets of the hospital bed, thinking about Clarke.

“Heda,” he tried again. He sighed when I refused to acknowledge him. I felt something land on the bed behind me and I swung around defensively. A light blue bag was on the bed. The color. It was like Clarke’s eyes.

“Heda, get dressed. It’s time for you to go.”

“Go?” I frowned. “Go where?”

“To you new home, Heda.”

“W-what?” I stuttered hopelessly. “Why can’t I stay with you or Anya?”

“We aren’t qualified, Heda. Most of those who come in for the transformation are sent to group homes if they’re children, work houses if they’re adults. You’re lucky. You’ve got a home. Someone stepped up and requested you be placed with him. It rarely happens.”

“What if I don’t want to go?” I challenged.

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice. It’s either go with you foster parent or go to a group home.” He gave me a sad smile. I bit my lip and nodded after a long moment.

“Get dressed, Heda.”

“Gustus,” I called as he was leaving.

“Yes, Heda?’

“It’s just Lexa. I’m not Heda no more.”

He gave me a smile, “I’ll be waiting in the hallway, Heda.”

                                                            ****

I opened the door, stepping out of the room with a heavy sigh. Gustus smirked at me. “Aren’t you adorable.” My cheeks flushed bright red. I couldn’t believe what I’d been given to wear. I went from skin tight black pants, grey shirt, black overcoat, and leather boots to blue scratchy jeans, a pink shirt, light blue jacket, and a strange type of shoe. We headed to the lobby in silence, though I was sure Gustus was dying to make a joke about my attire.

“The great Heda wearing jeans and sneakers,” came a laughing voice from the left. Anya walked over to us and she grabbed me in a tight hug which startled me to say the least. She pulled back and happily led me to the entrance, where a man stood in the type of pants-jeans-as as I did and the same style of shoes.

“Jake, this is Lexa.”

He reached a hand for me and I eyed it tentatively, almost shyly. _Heda cannot be shy_. Anya nudged me and I took his hand nervously and he shook it with a grand smile. Anya frowned as she sensed my nervousness. _Heda cannot be nervous_. She hugged me again, and when she finally released me Gustus took a turn, almost crushing me.

“Visit us soon, Heda,” he said, giving my shoulder a squeeze.

My eyes filled with water and I nodded, not trusting my voice to say anything. _Was I about to cry? Heda cannot cry_. He gave me a sympathetic look, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Are you ready?” Jake asked.

I nodded, following him out, casting one last look behind at the two people who had been with me through my entire life. Jake led me to some type of contraption and I balked when he tried to usher me into it.

“Its fine, Lexa. It’s just a car.” I backed away, eyeing it nervously. He sighed and disappeared, leaving me to stare at the thing. Suddenly I felt a hand grasp my shoulder. “Lexa.”

“Anya, what is this?” I stared at the contraption in horror.

“It’s a car, Lexa.” I shook my head violently. Anya sighed and opened the door and I jumped back. She sat in it herself and looked at me. “You’re okay.” She got out and guided me over to the car. With a shuddering sigh I climbed in and sat on the seat, eying Anya nervously. “It’ okay.” She pulled a strap over me and clicked it in. “It’s going to make a noise and bump as it drives, but I promise it’s fine, Lexa.” I nodded.

She turned to leave and I grasped her wrist. “Don’t go.” For the first time, I didn’t care that my eyes filled with tears and that a few escaped. She gently wiped the tears off my cheek.

“You’re okay, Lexa. Once you’re settled, you can come visit me, kiddo. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

I nodded and let her go and watched as she walked away. Jake settled into the car and started the car without a word. I jumped as the car roared to life and began on the lurching drive to his home. He pulled into a path beside a house and stopped the car. “Here we are.”

“This is your home?” I asked him quietly.

“Yours, too.”

He got out and I followed, heading up some stairs as he unlocked the door. I stepped in and I let out a gasp. It was so _fancy_. “How about a tour, huh, kiddo?” I nodded slowly and followed him. First the kitchen. An abundance of food and drinks all ready, with no need to hunt. The dining room, a place to sit and enjoy the already caught food. Living room, with a big couch and a _TV_ -whatever that is. Jake’s office, a porch to sit in and watch nature from a screened room, up some fuzzy stairs, and a few feet down a small hall.

“This is your room, Lexa.” He opened the door and I stepped, looking around. A massive bed was in the center of the room with dark green blankets and a heap of pillows. A desk sat barren-no maps of lands to go through, no laws to set in motion, no hardship of leading thousands of people. It almost felt nice. But then I remembered. _No Clarke_. And that hit me hard. I felt pain in my chest, whether I was imagining it or not I would not know. I was in more pain than I was when the bullet pierced my stomach. My knees gave in and I collapsed in the middle of the floor and ignored Jake’s concerned voice call my name. Sobs escaped my body and I felt his arms engulf me.

“Lexa, what’s wrong?” his voice was full on concern.

“She’s gone,” I sobbed.

He rubbed my back, silent.

“Clarke’s gone.”

“She isn’t gone, Lexa. I promise, we’ll get her back.”

I looked at him in confusion. His voice was determined as he spoke.

“Who are you?”

He gave me a tight smile. “Jake Griffin.” A tiny gasp escaped at his surname. “Clarke’s father.”


	5. Unwritten

“I need to speak to Aden,” I said in a hushed whisper to Roan. Everything was thrown into chaos after I announced that Titus killed Lexa. Nobody could believe he killed her-he was her advisor, the closest person she had to family. But he had admitted it. And he would pay with his life. The conclave would begin. The nine Nightbloods would fight to the death. It was going to be Ontari or Aden-the other didn’t stand a chance. The vicious _Azgeda_ girl versus Lexa’s most loved Nightblood. I worried Aden’s little twelve year old self didn’t stand a chance against nineteen year old Ontari. But I refused to think of Aden dying. He was so much like Lexa. And Ontari would wipe out my people-Aden would not.

“Speaking to an officiate before the conclave begins is against policy, _Wanheda_.”

“I’m assuming a _Fleimkappa_ killing Heda and a Nightblood hidden from Polis is also against policy?”

He nodded and guided me through a few different halls, shushing me when I tried to speak. We were deep in the heart of Polis tower when he halted me and finally spoke. “Aden is in there, along with the other Nightbloods. Including Ontari.”

I nodded, understand that this was more of a warning than anything else. And realizing he was telling me this because he was not entering with me.

“Be careful, Wanheda.”

I nodded again and knocked as he dodged out of sight. The door opened and I was face to face with a snarling Ontari.

“What do you want, _Sky Girl_?”

I squared my shoulders, standing tall. “ _It’s Wanheda_.”

“Fine. What do you want, _Wanheda_?”

“To speak with Aden.”

“No” she said at the same time as Aden bounded over calling my name. He pushed the older girl out of his way and grasped my hand pulling me into the room. I winced as I passed Ontari, hoping I wouldn’t get a knife in my back. But we passed her harmlessly and he rushed me though a hall into a side room, where the seven other Nightbloods all sat. _They’re all children_. Aden appeared the oldest and he was only twelve.

“You wanted to speak to us?” one of them asked. I looked at their young faces and saw they all shared the same look as Aden. Hopeful. “Yes.”

They sat at the edges of the beds and Aden stood by me, his eyes darting to the door every few seconds. I realized that he was watching for Ontari, and he was prepared to jump in front of me if she entered. _He’s just a child_.

“Aden made a promise to me. He promised that if he became Heda that he’d support me and protect my people as the thirteenth clan once the enemies within Arcadia’s walls were diminished. I wanted to see if that still stands.”

Aden nodded fiercely. “Lexa made us all swear it. We’ll all protect you.”

And there was something else. “This conclave-it’s different. Everything’s changing.” They stared at me, waiting for my point. “With the Flamekeeper killing Heda Lexa, Ontari being a Nightblood not raised in the capitol. I think that it might be a time for another change.” I faltered, wondering how they’d take the suggestion. “From what I gathered from Lexa, the Conclave is a fight to the death, correct?” Aden nodded. “What if it’s just a fight? Fight until the other can’t or the other surrenders? There’d be no deaths.”

They all looked at each other and grins slowly spread across their faces.

“I like that,” Aden said finally.

“As do I.” we swung around to stare at the new voice. Ontari stood in the doorway. “Just because I was raised in Azgeda and trained under Queen Nia doesn’t mean I’m a total savage. And…I will protect you, too. I want to fulfill Lexa’s legacy. She saved me from being Nia’s prisoner, her personal bodyguard. I’m thankful for that.”

I nodded slowly, making sure this wasn’t a trap.

“How do we do this?” Aden asked.

“You just don’t kill each other. Natblida’s are too valuable to destroy. You all have a purpose, even if it isn’t to be Heda. You can defy them all-one of you will be Heda come tomorrow.”

“A united front,” Ontari mumbled. “We fight, but spare our opponents. And if anyone stands against us, we don’t back down.”

“But the law says…” one of the younger ones started but quieted at the looks she received.

“Those laws aren’t written in stone, Kaia,” Aden said calmly. “Today, those laws are being unwritten.”


	6. The New Heda

This was it. The conclave was beginning. The nine Nightbloods would have matches. Fights to the death, only, if going as planned, there would be no deaths. I knew the eight raised and trained by Lexa would follow through, but would Ontari?

Indra walked into the square. She was Lexa’s right hand, so since the Flamekeeper was awaiting execution-unless the new Commander followed Lexa’s _jus no drein jus daun_ \- Indra was the closest to power and would hold the conclave.

“People of Polis,” the warrior began in her native tongue. “We are here today to witness the tournament where a new Heda will rise. As tradition goes, each Natblida will fight in single combat, until only one remains. The one who remains shall ascend.”

Roars of a variety of cheers erupted. My stomach was churning. _Here goes_.

The first two entered the square. Kaia and Triston. Age seven and ten. They both reveled their swords and the match began. Clanging of swords echoed through the square. I watched nervously at Kaia swung his sword, catching the older of the two in the leg. Triston fell down, gripping his knee. He looked up at his opponent and nodded his head. She held up her sword victorious. The square was dead silent.

“What is this?” Indra cried, marching into the square, earning a few gasps. “You’re opponent has not fallen, therefore you are not victorious.”

“I will _not_ kill him! He surrenders, I move forward. Let it be! Are the pillars of being Heda _just strength?_ What about _compassion? Wisdom?_ I have enough _wisdom_ to know that every one of my people are worthy, therefore the other _Natblida’s_ are! And I have _compassion_ for him, who I have knocked down! _Heda_ Lexa made sure we knew that wisdom and compassion are _just as important_ as strength!  So who are you to defy me? To defy _us_?”

Indra was shocked into silence. The whole crowd was. _And they let it be_.

I swear, I was practically glowing in pride for Kaia. She did well. And she continued, taking down opponent after opponent, all leaving the square to a healer with minor injuries.

Then it was her turn to face Aden.

Within minutes, Aden had Kaia flat on her back, the breath knocked out of her little lungs. She stared up at him, contemplating. Then he nodded her surrender. He reached a hand down for the girl and pulled her up and let a civilian standing nearby help her limp out of the square.

Aden sucked in a deep breath as Ontari walked into the square. The Azgeda warrior was seven years older and twice his size. I has never seen her fight, but I doubted her skill would even compare to Aden’s.

“Is she any good?” I whispered to Roan.

He chucked lightly. “You mean is she a threat to the boy?”

“Something like that.”

“My mother was all aggression, Lexa was all skill. If Ontari was trained by my mother, then she’ll fight aggressively, not intelligently.”

I sighed at his response. He didn’t know her well enough.

“Do you know her, Roan? Like _know_ her?”

“I know of her. My mother kept her well hidden from prying eyes, mine included. We knew she was my mother’s personal bodyguard. She was always there, but blended into the background, never moving or speaking unless she needed to. Which she did only once before my eyes.”

“She flipped me onto the table, but it was to protect your mother when I tried to poison her.”

“Ah. Same thing happened when I witnessed. Defensive, unknown if skilled.”

The horn sounded and we broke our conversation off to intently watch the two warriors circle each other. Ontari struck first, full of aggression. Her sword missed Aden’s head by inches. I almost fell off my seat. This was not the plan! She screamed and swung, Aden dodging her every strike.

C’mon Aden, I though anxiously.

After a half hour of them playing cat and mouse, Aden swung with a war cry and caught the Azgeda warrior on her leg and she fell down. He held the tip of his sword at her throat and whispered something in his native tongue.

After what felt like an eternity, Ontari nodded, closing her eyes in defeat.

Cheers erupted as Ontari limped out of the square. Aden’s name was chanted.

A new Heda rose. Lexa would be proud.

 _Lexa_. I closed my eyes, listening to _Heda_ being chanted. But the only Heda that would ever truly be mine was the tall, strong girl with the thick dark curls and forest green eyes.


	7. Feels Like Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a little bit of Lexa in our world, and Jake trying to make her feel at home.

_Three months later…_

I sighed as the teacher droned on and on about some ridiculous thing called _Mathematics_. How is learning how to do a bunch of random things with numbers important at all? I was born and raised to fight with swords, to lead people, to shoot a bow and arrow, to make grand speeches to thousands upon thousands of warriors.

 _It’s what normal people do_ , Jake had told me. But it’s not normal, not to me.

Normal is running through the woods, being free, building fires beside tents, sparring with swords, walking through villages and greeting by people, watching children grow to be warriors, Trigedasleng. No one here, besides those from the other world, speaks Trigedasleng. They teach languages called Spanish and French and Latin at regular schools. At the crappy transformation school the others from the other world, minus Skaikru, attend, they teach English and only that. They teach Mathematics-teaching us to use numbers because in this world people use money and not trade, which I see as pointless; English, where they teach us to read and write which I thankfully know how to do to an extent; History, where they teach us about this world, which I have no care for; and Science, which I don’t understand nor care about. These people are too much like Skaikru.

I sat and listened to the stupid Mathematics teacher, not really paying much attention, until the bell rang. It was a terrifying sound at first, but it grew to be my favorite. It meant that class was over. This particular bell meant that it was time to leave.

I grabbed my bag and raced the other students out of the building, scurrying past the buses. The walk to Jake’s house-home-was a long one. But I refused to take the damn buses and Jake worked, so walking was my only option. So I walked the forty minute walk to school, and then the walk back, five days a week. School was torturous, five hours of my time wasted. The walk to and from home was the best part of my day. That and TV, which truly amused Jake.

After what felt like forever, the big house came into sight and I sighed happily, fishing out my key and jogging up the steps. Once indoors and ran and collapsed onto the big black couch.

“Lexa?” I jumped at Jake’s voice.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“I took the day off. I needed to set something up!” he came into the living room, a sparkle in his blue eyes. _Just like Clarke’s_.

“Set up what?”

“Come!”

Like an excited child, he ran from the room. I followed him warily. Out onto the screened in porch, and into the big backyard. I froze. _A swing set_. He built a swing set. But it wasn’t like a kid’s swing set. It was huge and wooden. The swings were a good eight feet tall, well off the ground for an adult. _Or a teenager like me_. There was a huge slide that curled around, monkey bars that were spread far apart and really high up, and a tire swing that hung from a big tree.

“So, I know swing sets are for little kids, but a buddy of mine helped me make one for you. The swings go high, in case you like the feeling of flying. The slide-every swing set needs a slide. But the monkey bars aren’t the usual. They aren’t normal,” he gave me a smile which I returned. “You can do so many things with the. Train on them. And the tire swing-it’s from a tree, more in your element I think.”

I was speechless.

“Oh!” he pulled two wooden…swords. They were crafted to look just like my swords back home. “You can’t have real swords-well, you can but you can’t use them-so I had my friend make these for you. If you have a friend you want to fight-or what is the word you use?”

“Spar.”

“Right, if you have a friend you want to spar with these should work, or even if you want to spar with me after work we can do that. I don’t know how to, but if your patient with me, I can learn. I want to learn. Even though you’re in this world, I don’t want you to forget where you come from of who you are.”

I grabbed him into a fierce hug, startling him and myself. I tried as hard as I could to stop the tears from running down my face. This man took me in, made sure I had a bed to sleep in and three meals a day, built me a swing set, and was now offering to let me teach him to use a sword. His unconditional love was something that I would always appreciate. He was trying his best to make us a family, and to make this house my home. And right now, it feels like home.


	8. It'll be Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both Clarke and Lexa's POV

_Clarke_

“Clarke, slow down!” Harper whined, training behind me.

“No, _you_ speed up!” snapped Octavia, walking beside. “We have to be back by nightfall with dinner, Harper. We don’t have all day!”

I tried to hide my smirk but miserably failed.

“I saw that,” Octavia whispered before jogging head of me to pounce on Lincoln’s back. The big, muscular Grounder, who could be called a giant teddy bear, gently pulled the girl off his back and tenderly kissed her lips. I looked away, swallowing. Hard. I couldn’t help but wonder _what if_. What if I hadn’t gotten Lexa shot? What if I had left back to Arcadia and helped Octavia and the rest of the rebels take out Pike, the Chancellor that went rogue, and we both lived on? What if we were able to go for hunts in the forest, holding hands, smiling, and kissing? It isn’t fair. _It’s all my fault_.

“You know, playing the game of what if won’t do anything but hurt you.” I jumped, not realizing that I had caught up to Lincoln and Octavia. I looked behind us to Harper who was straggling behind us, grumbling although we couldn’t hear the words.

“How..?”

“I know you, Clarke,” Octavia whispered. Lincoln gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“I miss her, O.”

She grabbed me into a tight hug and Lincoln rubbed my back.

“I know. But she’ll always be with you, you know that. And Aden-he’s making all her hard work come true. Peace, Clarke. Lexa died making peace among the thirteen clans. Peace that now allows us to walk through the forest without wondering if _Trikru_ is going to attack by being too close to the border, of be scared that _Azgeda_ will issue a surprise attack in our sleep or worry that all hell will break loose. Aden holds all the clans together, King Roan _still_ stops by every few weeks or so to make sure you’re doing well. Kane has all of Skaikru happy and even has gotten most to be okay trading with the Grounders. We live with on Grounder land, hunt with Grounder weapons, drink from a Grounder stream, we trade in Grounder villages. It’s all because of _Lexa_ , what _she_ did. _Jus no drein jus daun_. That was Lexa’s vision for the future, and that’s what has happened, Clarke.”

I nodded into her shoulder, which was now damp from my tears. Harper, who had finally caught up, glanced at us and threw her arms around the both of us, making us laugh.

“Thanks, O, Lincoln, Harper.”

The all nodded, knowing nothing more could be said.

“Now…” O began, “if we’re gonna hunt and be back by nightfall, we better hurry, now shouldn’t we?”

 

            _Lexa_

            I shivered as I walked down the street to home. The forty minute walk had been in the pouring, ice cold rain. And all I had on was a thin shirt and jeans. I hated not being able to have my clothes from back home. Like, seriously? Why must I wear normal clothes? Why couldn’t I be me? Jake had fought for me, trying to let the district allow me to wear my Trikru clothes, but they wouldn’t budge. And I hated them all for it.

            Once the house was in view I broke into a run, but I didn’t go indoors. I ran around the back to the yard.

            _Of course she can’t wear those filthy clothes. She’s a teenage girl, she must look like one._

            I grabbed one of the wooden swords, the wet wood nearly slipping from my hand.

            _Such an abomination_.

            I swung the sword at the swing set, the tree, anything I could hit.

            _That’s one of the transitioned! She’s one of the barbarians!_

            I hit and hit, but I couldn’t feel anything besides the anger and the pain. The rain and tears melded together on my face.

            _Get lost, you stupid brat! Your kind is nothing but trouble!_

            I threw the sword and resorted to punching the tree. Pain flared in my hands but I kept punching the tree angrily.

            _Commander? Haha you’re nothing here. You’re just a waste of space!_

            Black blood ran down the tree but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t get the words out of my head.

            _Griffin only took you in because he gets a big, fat check from the case. It’s not like he’s going to adopt you!_

_You’re nothing._

_Get your heard out of the clouds, you stupid girl. This is the real world._

_You’re never going to amount to anything, you stupid girl!_

_You’re not in charge here._

_You’re just a waste of space!_

_You can’t hit people, no matter what they say!_

_She’s violent, Jake. You should give her to one of the group homes. They know how to deal with savages like her._

“Get out of my head!” I screamed with all my might, before collapsing. I tried to stand, failing miserably. I was too cold, too tired, to hurt to stand up.

I jumped as hands wrapped around my waist, under my knees, scooping me up as if I was a small child. I looked up to see Jake’s worried expression. He carried me indoors, upstairs to my room.

“You need to warm up, kid. Can you dress yourself?”

I nodded numbly as he closed to door. I stripped my clothes off, pulling on sweats and the thickest sweatshirt I had. Once dressed, I opened to door and let him lead me to the bathroom where he gently cleaned my bloody knuckles and wrapped them snugly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head, not trusting my voice.

“If you need to talk, about anything at any time, I’m here, Kid. I’m not going anywhere, ever.” And that’s all I needed to hear. I grabbed him in a fierce hug.

“You know, a movie might life your spirits, huh? We can rummage through my movie collection, make popcorn?”

I nodded with a ghost of a smile.

Once a ridiculous comedy was chosen- _why on earth are people so obsessed with movies? They just kill brain cells, I swear!_ -and popcorn was made- _now, we should’ve had this fabulous stuff back in my world_ -Jake and I settled on the couch and started the movie.

When the previews started, I had a thought, turning to Jake.

“Jake?”

“Yeah, kid?”

I hesitated. “It’s been three months since…since I’ve been…and Anya and Gustus, I’ve known them my whole life and…”

“You want to visit them this weekend?”

I swallowed. “Uh, yeah.”

“I’ll give them a call to see if that’ll work.”

I smiled my thanks, and the movie started. We settled back, watching the movie. As much as I didn’t want to, I couldn’t help but laugh along with Jake at the ridiculous, yet hilarious, characters.

As the movie went on, I grew more tired. Last thing I remember was thinking, _this movie would be so much better if Clarke was here watching it with me_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Roan's back!


	9. A walk with a king

With the help of Lincoln, Octavia, and Harper, we took down a deer and two boar. It was enough to feed Skaikru. Lincoln single handily carried the deer, Octavia managed to carry a boar, but it took both Harper and I to carry the second boar. Damn Octavia and her Grounder boyfriend for being all muscles. We reached the gates of Arcadia and happily handed our catches over to some ready guards who would go prepare the meal easily, thanks to training from Trikru.

“Clarke!” I turned towards my mother’s voice. She ran over to me, her face urgent.

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

“Some…some king from Azgeda is here to see you.”

I relaxed. “King Roan?”

She nodded, tensing.

“Its fine, Mom. He comes every few weeks or so to check up on me.”

“Why does a king from Azgeda need to check up on _you?_ ”

I sighed. I couldn’t tell her that I loved Lexa more than anything, more than anyone. She wouldn’t understand. To my mother, Lexa was the Grounder Commander who betrayed us at Mount Weather six months ago. She didn’t see the Lexa I knew. The Lexa who saved my life time and time again, who didn’t lift a hand when I held a knife to her throat but kicked a man out of Polis tower for offending her the very same day, who bowed before me as she swore to protect me, who stopped a war for me, who kissed me so passionately and with so much more love than I deserve, who tried to tell me she loved me but couldn’t because she was too shy, who died for me, who taught me how to love and how to live. Nobody knew that side of her. The side of her she reserved just for me. Like the smiles she gave me and the gentle touches. To the world, she was Heda. But to me, she was just Lexa.

“He just does.” And I walked away from her. She barely knows me anymore. After she betrayed my dad and got him executed our relationship never mended.

I walked around, looking for Roan. And there I spotted him, sitting on a big grey horse, chatting with Indra-Octavia’s mentor who resides in TonDC, Trikru’s largest village and Arcadia’s closest neighbor-and Octavia herself. My chestnut horse, who Lexa gave me as a gift for entering her alliance shortly after we met, was already saddled and waiting. So without hesitation I walked over and swung myself up into the saddle. My horse flicked his ears back, awaiting command.

Roan finished his conversation with the two warriors before turning his horse and walking towards the woods. My horse and I followed him and we ended up side by side on the wide road.

“Does it have a name?” he asked suddenly.

“Wh-what?”

“Your horse. Does it have a name?”

 “It’s a he,” I mumbled.

“Does _he_ have a name?”

“His name is _Charmer_. Octavia kind of named him.”

He frowned. “Why did your perky little friend name your horse?”

He was just trying to get me to talk I realized. “She joked that Lexa was trying to charm me by giving me a horse so she called him ‘Lexa’s Charmer’ and kept making fun of me and joking that Lexa was trying to get me into her bed by bribing me with a horse.”

“One, you don’t seem to be the type of person who gets made fun of. Two, I have no idea what half of the stuff you said was but I don’t think I actually want to know.” We both chuckled at the last part.

“Getting made fun of and getting made fun of by friends are two entirely different things.” He gave me a strange look. “That’s how friends have fun.”

“Skaikru is weird,” he grumbled.

I laughed. “I thought we established that a while back.”

He nodded and turned his horse off the road onto a trail.

“Hey! Does your horse have a name?”

“Yeah,” he yelled back to me. “It’s _Gona_.”

“Warrior?”

“This old man has been with me through several wars. I’ve had him since I was a boy. But today is about getting you out to try new things, not to talk about horses.”

“You started it!” I huffed.

“To _‘break the ice’_ as you Skaikru put it.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “So, what new things are we trying?”

“You, Klark. I’m teaching you something I learned at the ripe age of five and have loved since.” He patted the weapon behind him with a sly smirk.

“Hell no!”

_“Hell yes!”_

We both froze at the creepy response. King Roan kom Azgeda, fearless warrior, just _mimicked me in a high-pitched voice_.

“Don’t ever do that again…”

He nodded, “If I ever do that again, Wanheda, I give you full permission to stab me with the flimsy little knife you carry.”

“Hey! Don’t knock my knife!” I gave him a fake glare. “And if you ever do that again, I’ll stab you with one of your swords.”

“Azgeda swords are too precious for Skaikru hands to touch.”

“If your swords are too precious, then so is that bow.” I reached for my horse and Roan pulled me back. “Nice try, _Klark kom Skaikru_.”

 _Damn it_.

                        -----------------------------------------------------------

“No, hold it like this,” Roan said quietly, readjusting my fingers on the bow. “Now, pull back-that a girl.” I could feel sweat beading on my forehead and Roan watched me carefully “Now release.”

I let go and the arrow went whizzing through the air and hit the edge of the target. “Better.”

“It only took all day,” I growled.

“The bow and arrow is an art, one that takes a lot of patience and practice, Wanheda.”

“You come every other week, that’s going to take me twice as long to learn as anyone else would.”

“Good thing I’m here for a month. I left Ontari in charge of Azgeda. It gives her some purpose, you know.”

I nodded. “She’d be one hell of a leader.”

“That she would.” We fell into a deep silence and the sky was purple when we reached the gates of Arcadia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Lexa learns a secret regarding the Phantom World that puts her in danger


	10. Secrets

“Anya!” I yelled, running to the older girl. I practically tackled her. The only reason we didn’t fall on the floor was because Gustus appeared behind her, catching the both of us.

“Wow,” she breathed. “That was…unexpected.”

Jake chuckled, walking up behind us. “That’s Lexa for you.”

“She do that to you?” Gustus asked, clearly surprised.

“Almost daily,” Jake admitted, running a hand through his sandy blonde hair. “I offered for her to teach me to spar with wooden swords, but half the time she ditches the sword and tackles me. Or jumping on me. So much energy.”

My face turned red and Anya snickered, leading me away from the two men who started telling embarrassing stories about me.

“Lexa kom Trikru is blushing,” she whispered.

“Shop of,” I hissed.

She ruffled my dark curls which lead me growling at her in my native tongue.

“Anyways, do you want a tour?” I shrugged.

“I came to see you, we can do whatever.”

And with that, she started giving me a tour of the place. The offices, which seemed too neat and immaculate for me-yeah, the luxury of cleanliness and order was nice, but I was honestly missing my crumbling war room in Polis tower and my war tent in the middle of the forest. Up an elevator that still made the very annoying pinging noise. Like, can’t people just figure out that their one the right floor by seeing the lit up buttons? If I can figure that out, how can these people not? Are they _that_ stupid?!

“And here’s my office.”

I entered the room and wrinkled my nose. “You don’t like it?” Her voice was laced with disappointment.

“I don’t like anything in this world.”

Anya frowned. “It’s so much better in this world, Lex.”

“Not to me,” I replied shortly. “Not at all.”

Her phone rang, causing me to jump. She rolled her eyes at me as she reached to pick it up. I turned to leave and she called out. “Where are you going?”

“To explore.”

She just nodded, putting the phone to her ear. I ventured out of the office and down some halls. After ten minutes I was sure I was lost-all these damn halls look the same! I heard someone shouting down the hall and curiosity got the best of me. All my instincts told me to go in the opposite direction, and for the first time in my life, I ignored them. I found a door that held the voice that I instantly recognized. _Mr. Larkin_.

“Kill them. Kill them all.”

 _Huh?_ I pressed my ear to the door. “I want this phantom world shut down. I want everyone in it dead, gone, whatever…people are asking questions, deadly ones, A.J...a month ago one of the transition girls, the former _Commander_ ,” he said my title with a disgusted sneer, “caught me when I said one hundred years…no, more and more are getting curious…too many people know!...then make it look like a fucking accident, A.J.!...people in power? You mean in the Phantom world?” I heard typing. “The Heda is a boy, Aden.” I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. _Aden was Heda_. “King Roan is playing a huge role. He’s become close with Clarke Griffin.” I froze at her name. _Clarke_. “Every other week he travels to Arcadia and spends time with her, he checks up with her. And that Sky Grounder kid, Octavia, keeps a careful watch on her…makes sure she eats, sleeps, and soothes her nightmares…” _Thank you, Octavia_. “Blow them the hell. Make the Phantom world radioactive for real.” I froze in horror. _No!_ “Radiation can’t seep through the dome, can it?...well. then do it…start it slowly, so no one realizes it until their gasping for air and their skin is peeling off…of course it’s a painful death, but think of it this way, A.J. no one will question if _we_ had anything to do with it.”

I couldn’t listen anymore. I ran and ran until I bulldozed into Anya. I grasped her in a hug and calmed myself before I broke down. I brushed off her questions, pretending I was fine. I was. I _had_ to be. She kept shooting me looks, knowing I was lying. But I wouldn’t let her see the war inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: We meet Costia


	11. An old friend

_One week later…_

My knuckles were white from gripping the store buggy as hard as I could. Jake was running late in work, some big project he had to oversee after hours. He gave me a list and asked me to pick up some groceries at the supermarket. Knowing that I wouldn’t take the bus and not wanting me to try to carry bags of groceries home, not even the damn reusable ones which were so much durable easier to carry then the stupid plastic ones which always ripped, he bought me this stupid red wagon. I stared at the list, concentrating on the words. I had greatly improved with my reading skills, but his writing, though near and carefully written, was more difficult to read then the typed words on paper.

“Hey, you need some help there?” a voice, which was so familiar though I couldn’t put a finger on it, asked me. “You a transitioned?” I nodded, not looking at the owner of the voice. A hand snatched the paper from me. “Milk-skim, pink lid; dozen eggs-make sure they aren’t cracked; hamburgers-store brand, quarter pounders; buns-white or whole wheat, your choice; soda-crush orange for me, your choice for yours. Easy enough, huh?” I nodded. “Grip that carriage harder an those knuckles are gonna break through your skin and you’ll need surgery or something.” I pulled my hand away from the buggy like it was on fire. “Not true, but got you to let go.”

I turned to see a cocky smile, with the deep blue eyes of the girl lit up. Her pale blonde hair was pulled into a tight braid. “ _Kos?_ ”

“ _Oh my God!_ Lexa!” she hugged me tightly, right in the middle of the supermarket. “You died? When?”

“A little over a month ago. Titus shot me.”

 _“What?”_ she screeched a little too loudly. People looked at us, but walked on when they saw we were just two teenage girls.

“Shh, Costia! But that’s the last of my worries.”

“What do you mean, Lex?”

“Help me find everything on this damn list and I’ll tell you.”

She nodded and we wheeled out buggies side by side through the store, collecting items. “I was in the main place, the control center or whatever it is where Anya works. I was visiting her. I wandered off on my own when she got a phone call and I wandered around and got lost but found a door where Mr. Larkin was in.”

“That’s the guy in charge, right?” I nodded. “He gives me the heebie jeebies.” I gave her a weird look. “I get a bad feeling from him.”

“He was talking about the phantom world and talking about killing everyone.”

“What?!”

“He wants to make it go radioactive in a month’s time. And, Costia I can’t…I can’t just sit by and let it happen! Clarke will die!”

“Clarke? Is she...” she cleared her throat nervously. “Is she your girlfriend?”

“ _I hodnes em, Kostia_.” I whispered. “I love her more than anything.”

“I have a good friend, he’s a computer hacker. If we can break in…”

“Wait? Isn’t that illegal?”

“So is drinking alcohol at nineteen, but I do it anyways. Do you want your girl alive or not?”

I nodded as we headed to check out. I fiddled with Jake’s card nervously.

“Do you know where the park on Franklin Street is?”

I nodded tensely. “Meet us there, ten p.m. and don’t be late.”

And then she left.

At quarter to ten, I quietly changed into dark jeans and a black t-shirt. I quietly tip-toed down the stairs, careful not to wake Jake who went to bed an hour ago since he has work early in the morning. I zipped up a black hoodie and pulled my boots on. I left the house, shutting the door as quietly as I could and locking it before breaking into a sprint, running for three of the seven blocks before I grew too tired and resorted to walking. Twenty minutes later, I arrived at the park.

“You’re late,” a voice I didn’t recognize said in an ice cold voice.

I checked my phone. “It’s 10:02.”

“Still late.”

“Give her a break, Ian,” Costia hissed

He sighed and stormed off. Costia grabbed my wrist and pulled me along. “Let’s do this!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Clarke and co. find unity when the world becomes radioactive


	12. Radioactive

People were dying. The children and the elderly. They were dropping like flies. They died painfully. First, they began coughing, blood began coming out of their mouths as they coughed, their breathing worsened, they skin paled, and soon it started to peel as they collapsed and died in agony. I watched dozens die like that. Cold, gruesome deaths.

When people from Azgeda, Flokru, and Trikru began falling ill, they migrated. Aden opened Polis gates, other clans did as well. The north was becoming lethal. Skaikru was the last in the north to become ill.

 _Solar radiation_ , I realized. We aren’t dying because- _wait. Radiation_?

I bolted from my seat beside King Roan and raced to Raven’s workshop. King Roan followed me, apparently making sure I wouldn’t go over the edge.

“Clarke?” Raven jumped in alarm.

“Radiation, Raven!” her eyes widened. “The earth is radioactive again.”

“Wait, what the hell does that mean?” Roan asked, clearly confused.

“We’re entering another apocalypse,” Raven said in a hoarse voice.

“Another _what?_ ”

I looked at him gravely. “Ninety-eight years ago, bombs went off that ended the world.”

He nodded, already knowing that information. “At the time of the bombs, people went to space, others in bunkers, and your kind survived.” He froze, finally understanding. “It’s happening again.”

“What can we do?”

“Move as far as we can going south. Only Azgeda, Flokru, Trikru, and Skaikru are hit by this. It’s only in the north.”

“For now,” Raven muttered. “We need to evacuate, go as far as can be. And be prepared for the radiation to migrate.”

“So we’re just going to sit around and wait for our skin to melt off?” he asked incredulously.

“This isn’t an enemy you can fight, Roan,” I said seriously. “This is something we can’t see, can’t hear, and won’t know it hit us until it’s too late.”

He nodded. “So get all of Azgeda evacuated.”

I watched him leave in a rush and I ran out, yelling to Raven I’d be back. I found Kane and told him about the radiation and evacuation.

“You want us to just pack up and leave?”

“Yes. I got word that Aden has opened up Polis gates to care of the refugees. Skaikru may have only lost few so far, but if we don’t leave now, before we know it half the population will be wiped out.”

He paused for a second before nodded. He sent a guard to have everyone meet at the meeting square in the heart of Arcadia. In twenty minutes, everyone gathered. “Citizens of Arcadia, an answer has been found of the mystery illness. Radiation.” Gasps filled the clearing and a bunch of voices melded together.

I hopped up on a rock so I could be seen and yelled to the crowd. _“Enough!”_ Startled, they all looked up at me. I caught my mother’s concerned face in the crowd. “It’s true, the earth is becoming radioactive. Azgeda, Flokru, and Trikru are evacuating and heading south as we speak. Only the north is affected so far. I can’t guarantee that the radiation won’t reach us in the south, but it gives us a better chance to prepare. Grounders survived the first apocalypse, so we can survive the second!”

Hundreds of questions were throw at me, but I dodged them—literally. I ran through the halls of Arcadia, my heavy footsteps echoing. “Raven!” she looked up at me. “People are packing to evacuate. We need to get going.”

“About that…”

“Raven?”

“I’m not going.”

“Wh-what?”

“We have power here, I can’t just leave all my stuff. I need to monitor this thing. I’ll send out radios, and…and I’ll monitor and give updates until…”

“Then I’m staying, too.”

“Clarke! No!”

“I nothing waiting for me, Rae. I’d rather spent my days helping you then wandering aimlessly to find a possible safe haven.”

Raven bit her lip. “Are you _sure_ , Clarke? What about your mom?”

“I have to do this, Raven.”

She nodded slowly.

“And so do we.”

We both jumped. Lincoln and Octavia entered the room. “We’re staying too.” Octavia said with finality.

“Then _I_ have to stay,” Bellamy grumbled, entering behind them, giving his sister and her boyfriend a withering glance.

“Well, I am, too,” Jasper announced loudly.

“If he’s staying, I’m staying,” replied Monty, hand in hand with Harper who gave us a strong smile.

Murphy groaned, walking in behind us with his grounder girlfriend, Emori. “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret staying?” Emori chuckled. “But no matter how much my instincts tell me to get my _fucking ass_ out of this _godforsaken place_ , I’m going to stay. Because you guys got me to become _fucking sentimental_ and now I can’t lose you. So I might be fucking dying with you.”

“Well, look at that, Princess,” Bellamy said in awe. “We just got unity.”


	13. Not Enough

Ian was tweaking the security system, trying to get us in without sounding a huge alarm that would leave the three of us behind bars. He was confident he could get us in. “Almost there,” he breathed, completely focused. “C’mon.” I watched him wide-eyed. After several agonizing seconds, the keypad beeped and the door unlocked. We all let out a sigh of relief.

            “Lead the way, Commander,” Ian said with a snicker.

            I swung around and gave Costia a cold glare and she just shrugged. But I led them up to the top floor, down the halls to where I remembered Mr. Larkin’s was. I tried to open the door but it wouldn’t budge. That’s when I saw the small keypad. “ _Jok!_ ” I hissed.

            “Considering that this room requires a keypad, I’m assuming jok has a negative connotation.”

            Costia let out a frustrated chuckle. “Jok is fuck in Trig.”

            “Can you override it?” I asked anxiously.

            Ian peered at the box for a while before shaking his head. “No.”

            I growled. “Jok! You have to figure it out!”

            Ian stepped back. “Calm yourself, sister.”

            I glared at him, feeling panic rising. I slammed my hand of the keypad and it lit up. We scuttled backwards and the keypad turned green and the door unlocked.

            “Holy fucking shit,” Ian murmured.

            I shoved past him into the room. I ran to the computers and shook the largest one and watched the screen light up. “Can you do your hacking thing on these?”

            “Of course.” He pulled a chair up and sat, his long fingers typing on the keyboard as he plugged in his device. Standing beside me, Costia watched with a proud grin. “He’s amazing at this. I love his mad hacker skills.”

            I eyed her and leaned closer to her. “Like his skills, or him?”

            She didn’t respond, but her blushing cheeks did. “He’d be a fool to not reciprocate those feelings, Kos.”

            “I like him, but my heart still belongs elsewhere, Lex.”

            I sucked in a breath. “Kos…”

            “I know, you have a girl. But what if we can’t save her?”

            I closed my eyes, refusing to process what she said. Thankfully, I didn’t have to.

            “I’m in!”

            I left the girl I thought I loved to the computers, in hopes to find the girl I love unconditionally. “Can you find the radiation code thing?”

            “Have faith in me, Commander.”

            We watched intently as the screens changed. E-mails to the guy, A.J. popped up. “A.J! That’s the guy Larkin was talking on the phone with about the radiation!” Ian clicked through the e-mails, looking for anything useful.

            “He’s clever, being so discreet. But, I’m clever too.” He went back to typing, trying to figure out what to do.

            “This makes no sense to me,” I murmured.

            “What? Computers?”

            “No, _Kostia_. Why create a fake apocalypse, watch their survival skills, bring the dead to life, and then create a legit apocalypse?”

            “Sometimes, bad people don’t think enough the same as some good people think too much, Lexa.” 

            “I got it! I got it!” It was pushing one in the morning when Ian found the radiation code. “It was activated…three days ago.” _Shit!_ “Death toll: 8,096 as of 6 PM.”

            “Klark.”

            “It doesn’t list names, Commander,” Ina said softly. “But it does say that Skaikru is the most resistant. Skaikru death toll is 6. Odds of her being one of those is very low, right?”

            I shrugged. I knew Clarke was a survivor. But couldn’t help but think of her being dead. “We’ll find her, Lexa.” I just nodded numbly.

            “There,” Ian said, clicking a few keys. “The radiation is stopped. That gives them all some time.” I nodded with a smile. He turned the computer monitor off and we left hurriedly, only to run into a shadowy figure at the door.

            “Larkin!”

            “You.” He grabbed my arm and I tried to wrestle away. I could’ve beaten him, but I knew I’d only be in more trouble for it. “Go! Run!” I yelled at Ina and Costia. And they left, running. “You’re in some serious trouble, little lady.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Roan returns


	14. Not Enough

“It’s getting worse, isn’t it?” Octavia asked from her spot on Lincoln’s side. Even in the dull light I could see the sheen of sweat on her forehead. Once the radiation levels rose rapidly we all moved as much of Raven’s technology as we could into the airlock along with as much food and water we had. Stuffing ten people and a crap load of electronics into a small space was difficult at best.

            I was nothing bust stressed, Raven didn’t sleep and was always being snappy, Lincoln barely moved as he tried to make his groaning girlfriend, Bellamy complained that Octavia and Lincoln were too close for comfort, Jasper kept complaining that he forgot his moonshine, Monty complained it smelt-which it really does, especially since we all share a bucket for our business-Harper complained worse than him, and Murphy just talked about how he was a fucking idiot and should’ve let us all die alone while his girlfriend grinned at every remark. How did he even find a girl?

            “We’re going to die a more painful death in here than we would outside in the radioactive air,” Murphy growled.

            _“Shut up, Murphy!”_ came the collective groan.

            “We have everything we need in here,” Bellamy told him. “We’re monitoring this fucking event, we have food, water, blankets and pillows, a can to shit in, and each other.”

            “It’s not enough,” I muttered.

            “What was that, Princess?”

            “We don’t have enough of anything, Bellamy! We’re monitoring this fucking radiation shower _but we can’t fucking do anything about it!_ Soon, we’ll run out of food and water, it’s too damn hot for blankets, and that fucking shit can is gonna overflow any fucking day now!”

            “Easy, Clarke!” Raven stared at me with wide eyes. “You’re cussing more than Murphy!”

            “I resent that,” Murphy mumbled.

            “It’s fucking true, Raven! Murphy’s right, we’re gonna die a painful death.”

            “Griffin, say fuck or any version of it _one more time_ and I’ll show you what a painful death is like.”

            “Free entertainment?” Octavia perked up.

“O, shut the fu—shut up.”

            Raven smirked. “See?”

            I climbed from my position on the floor and Raven followed suit. We looked at the monitors, staring at the levels.

            “It’s only going to get worse, isn’t it?”

            “Yeah—wait! It’s dissipating!”

            “What?” the entire group jumped up and huddled around the screen, ignoring the humidity of our bodies pressed together. “The radiation level is below critical!”

“Will it rise again?” Bellamy asked.

“Maybe?”

“We need to hunt,” Murphy said. “We should go now.”

 _“No!”_ I snapped. “We all can’t go.”

“Then who goes, Princess?”

“I’ll go, and I’ll take Jasper.”

Jasper nodded, stepping up beside me. “Clarke, I should go too,” Bellamy said quietly.

            “No, I need you here in case something happens. You’re my second in command. And before you even think about it, Lincoln and Octavia, you’re staying put. If worse comes to worse and you must evacuate before we return, you’re their best bets.”

            And with that, Jasper and I took deep breathes before opening the airlock and stepping into the thick air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: The return of King Roan


	15. You Saved Me

“You sure this is a good idea?” Jasper whispered as we moved quickly and silently through the too-quiet forest. “No birds chirping, no woodpeckers pecking, no rabbits darting around…this place is dead. So are you sure we should be out here?”

            “No,” I admitted. “But we have no other choice other than slowly becoming delirious from starvation and dehydration.

            He sighed, knowing I was right. He was overly cautious lately. Losing Maya and then the whole thing with Alie, a fucking AI who took over the world-literally-took its toll on him. But he trusted me-that much was clear. He trusted me enough to follow me through a recently radiation soaked forest to hunt for animals who were either all dead or well hidden.

            “You know, I don’t think there’s any animals to hunt here, Clarke. It’s quiet. Too quiet.”

            “I know.” I closed my eyes and took a breath. “We have to find something. We need food to get by.”

            “You think we should stay in the airlock?”

            “I don’t think the radiation was an accident.”

            Jasper stopped in his tracks, staring at me with wide eyes.

            “I think someone did this.”

            “Like Mount Weather with its acid fog?”

            “Exactly. Someone wants a brand new world.”

            We both walked on with silence. I let Jasper absorb my theory. He was contemplating the possibilities-I could almost _see_ him thinking about what to do _. We can do nothing. We can only survive_.

            “You believe the radiation will come back, stronger than ever? Or that this was a warning of what will come?”

            I nodded quietly.

            “Who would do this?”

            “Someone no one knows. Like how we didn’t know there were Grounders, or that we didn’t know there were Mountain Men. If Azgeda didn’t blow up Mount Weather I’d be suspecting someone in there. They survived the first apocalypse in there and they could another. But it’s gone.”

            “This makes no sense.”

            “I know.”

“It’s going to get dark soon, we need to head back.”

I shook my head. “ _No_ , we still haven’t found anything.”

            Jasper groaned. “Clarke, if we’re not back by nightfall, Bellamy will stress and send a search party out for us. Then if the radiation comes back, Bellamy and whatever idiots go with him-Murphy, Harper, and Monty most likely-will be toast, like us.”

            “Bellamy isn’t that stupid.”

            “He loves you, Clarke.”

            I shook my head.

            “He does. But he knows you’re still grieving Lexa so he doesn’t push it. He’s waiting.”

            “I’ll never be over her,” I murmured.

            “I’ll never be over Maya, either.”

            I looked at him with watery eyes. “Does the pain ever go away?”

            He teared up as well. “Go away? No. But it gets better. Eventually, it starts to fade. Each day, it hurts less. But it’s an ache in your heart that will never fade I think.”

            I hugged him. I don’t know why, but I did.

            “Thanks,” his voice came out muffled. “I needed that.”

            “There!”

            A big buck stood deep in the forest. Its head shot up at Jasper’s voice, but it went back to grazing almost immediately.

            “Can you hit it?” He asked, eyeing the spear I held.

            “Yeah, I just need to be higher.”

            Before he could ask, I was climbing up a tree with the accuracy that I perfected when I was on the run months ago. Once I was secure in the tree, I aimed the spear and threw it. The spear sliced through the air and hit the poor deer, killing it instantly.

            “Yes, Clarke!”

            I started climbing down and froze. Something felt wrong. The tree was shifting. I looked down and my blood froze. There was a deep crack in the earth which wasn’t there before.

            “Clarke, _jump!_ ”

            Before I could the tree crashed down. I screamed as the tree plummeted at the black hole, closing my eyes. _Don’t be afraid, Clarke. Death is not the end_. I heard Lexa’s words from so long ago in my head. The tree crashed, the end hitting solid ground, leaving me dangling dangerously over the edge.

            _“Help!”_

            Jasper hesitated, trying to figure out what to do. I was fearful for him.

            Right as Jasper put a foot on the tree, a big hand grabbed mine. I cried out on surprise, looking up at a familiar face.

            “Hello, _Wanheda_.”

            Roan pulled me up, over to Jasper and to safety.

            “Roan, thank you. You saved me.”

            He smirked. “Once again.”

            And I couldn’t help but laugh, forgetting the seriousness of the current situation for a second. Enjoying life for just a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Lexa is in trouble after she's caught by Larkin


	16. The painful truth

I watched in horror as Larkin pulled up the code for the radiation. I shifted, whimpering as the binds on my wrists dug into my skin. The monster had tied my wrists and ankles with bailing twine and gagged me. He told me that what the police will do to mw when I arrive would be much worse.

            “You thought you could save your friends without my knowing, you little bitch?”

            I growled at him and, intrigued, he pulled the cloth from my mouth.

            “I did, you fucking asshole!”

            He struck me across the face violently. But I didn’t even flinch.

            “Ai laik Heda. Jus drein jus drein yu jokem Branwada.”

            Not knowing Trigedasleng, his brow furrowed.

            “I am the Commander, you don’t scare me.”

            “You should, you little bitch. I could destroy your life.”

            I smirked. “And how could you possible do that? You already ruined it. You made me awaken into a living hell. _Death is not the end_. It should be.”

            He just hit me again and reached for the gag. A beeping stopped him, and when he saw that the building had been entered, he quickly removed all bindings.

            _“Jok yu,”_ I growled as he heaved me to my feet.

            A man rushed in, stopping in his tracks when he saw me.

            “ _What the fuck_ , Chris? What-who-is this?”

            “Lexa. This little bitch and a few friends who fled just turned off the radiation.”

            _“Fuck!”_

            “Exactly, A.J.” he pulled me towards the door. “Gotta get this bitch to the ground floor for when the police arrive.”

            A.J. smiled a smile that sent shivers down my spine. “Or…we could just wait until the building is accessed. Let me take a crack at her. She’ll never ruin anything for anyone again.”

            My blood ran cold, hearing those words.

            “No…the police are already called. If we catch her making any more trouble for us again, then you’ll be my first call.” I glared at him. How _dare_ her talk about me like that?! _I’m Heda Leksa kom Trikru!_

            And he hauled me out of the room and to the ground floor. I squirmed, trying to break free from his grasp. He shook me angrily and I growled a string of profanities at him in my native tongue. Even though this mane terrified me, I wouldn’t let him see that. True, if I would’ve fought him, I’d kick his ass and he’d be the one never making any trouble, but there was something about this man that truly terrified me-and not a lot of things scare me.

            “You won’t be causing me any more trouble, girl. You’re going to be locked up for a long time. Even longer if you don’t give your accomplices up.”

            I refused to speak. I refused to even look at him.

            So we just stood in silence until we heard the wail of sirens. He dragged me outside t the vehicles, red and blue lights flashing. Two officers walked over. One gently grasped my arm, the other spoke to Larkin.

            “She broke into my office, she hacked into my computer and deleted many personal files…” I looked at him bitterly as the lies began pouring out of his mouth. I kept my mouth shut, waiting until I was brought to the station. But then I realized: I’d have to ride in the back of a police car. I hadn’t been in a car since the day Jake brought me home. But I doubted the officers would give me a choice. The officer talking to Larkin gave the officer holding onto me a nod. He pulled some metallic binds from his belt loop and pulled my arms behind my back and bound my hands. He then led me to his car and opened the back door and tried to push me in, but I balked.

            “Please, is there any way we can just walk to the police station?”

            “What?” the office looked at me like I’d grown two heads.

            “I…I don’t do cars.” He kept staring at me. “I’ve only been in a car once…”

            “You’re transitioned?”

            I nodded, trying to keep my expression neutral and non-threatening.

            “Okay,” he looked up for a moment. “I need you to try for me. My partner is a bit aggressive and it won’t look good for you if you refuse to get into the car.”

            With a long-suffering sigh I allowed him to help me into the car. It was uncomfortable and very terrifying to sit in the back of a moving car with my hands bound, but I didn’t have much of a choice.

            “Doing okay, kid?” the officer suddenly asked.

            I just nodded silently. It took me a minute to realize that he couldn’t see my nod. “Yes, sir.”

            “It’s Zack. Your name is Lexa, correct?”

            “Yes, sir-Zack. Yes, Zack.”

            “You don’t seem like a bad kid.”

            “I was just trying to save my girlfriend,” I muttered.

            “You’re girlfriend trapped inside Mr. Larkin’s office building or something?”

            “Worse.”

            Before he could ask what I meant, we arrived at the police station. He helped me out of the car and led me into the building. I squinted at the bright lights. An intense amount of paperwork, thumb printing, and questions. I answered the basic questions the best I could before I was brought to the room they called _The Interrogation Room_. They took the bounds off my wrists, thankfully.

            “Wait!” I called to the officer, who was leaving me alone in the room. “Can someone call my fath-Jake? Can someone call Jake?” He gave me a curt nod and left.

            I fell back into the chair. I just almost called Jake my father. He was just someone nice enough to take care of me until I became a legal adult, right? _Wrong_ , a voice in my head responded. _Someone who was just taking care of you wouldn’t built you a swing set with custom monkey bars, they wouldn’t let you teach them to spar, they wouldn’t let you tackle them. Jake loves you. He treats you as if you were his own child_. I bit my lip, thinking over my thoughts. _He loves me_.

            The door swung open and Jake himself rushed in. “Lexa!” He grabbed me in a tight hug. “You had me worried sick, kid! It’s almost three in the morning!”

            I hugged me, not wanting to let go. “I had to save her,” I cried.

            “Who? Save who, Lexa?”

            _“Clarke!”_

            He pulled back and looked at me. “What do you mean?”

            _“Radiation!”_ I sobbed. “Larkin has leaked radiation into the Phantom World. They’re all going to die!”

            Jake pulled me close, just holding me. He was shocked to say the least. The door opened again and I glanced up to see, thankfully, Zack.

            He sat across from Jake and me. “So, Lexa. The first thing I need to ask you are who your accomplices were.”

            I shook my head. “I can’t tell you that.”

            He frowned. “And may I ask why not?”

            “They were helping me, I can’t turn them in.” I kept my steely gaze on him. I was Heda, I did not back down easy. Thankfully, he let it go.

            “Why were you in Mr. Larkin’s office?”

            I drew in a deep breath. “Larkin is the head of the Phantom World-where all the transitioned come from. I noticed when he explained everything to me that he had said one hundred years for each group. Apparently I wasn’t the only one. A week ago, I was visiting with a good friend of mine, Anya, who works in the office building helping those coming from the Phantom World transition as smoothly as possible to the new world. I was wandering the halls and stopped and listened outside his office. I heard him talking about radiation on the phone with this guy called A.J. and he said to let it leak into the Phantom World. I found an old friend and her and a friend helped me out. We overrode the key pad to get inside and I accidently accessed the code for his office. Sure enough, radiation was up. We took it down and when Larkin caught us, they ran. Larkin decided it’d be a good idea to tie up my hands and feet and gag me. Then A.J. came in, and…he told, he told Larkin to let him take a crack at me so that I can’t cause problems for them anymore. But Larkin told him that he’d let him if they caught me again and then he brought me down to you.”

            Jake was staring at me in shock. Zack silently reached a hand out and I gave him mine. Sure enough, there was an angry red line where the rope was. Jake wanted to press charges, but Zack said there wasn’t any legitimate proof.

            They released me a few hours later. They let me off with a warning and said that this wouldn’t go on my permanent record. But they couldn’t so anything to Larkin. There wasn’t any proof and since the Phantom World citizens weren’t citizens of the real world, they weren’t going to try to find any.

            I left the police station that morning with my heart shattered in a million pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Jake has some news for Lexa


	17. Somebody's Kid

Jake slept through the whole day, exhausted after my arresting last night. I, on the other hand, got maybe a few hours at best. Kept thinking about Clarke dying, and when sleep finally took me in I had nightmares of Clarke’s death. It was always the same. I laid in my big bed, tangled in the sheets, tossing and turning and crying. On one of my bathroom trips, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Brown curls beyond tangled, green eyes dull with deep purple bags underneath, tan skin paler than some corpses I’ve seen with tracks of dried tears lining my hollow cheeks. I just sighed and crawled back into my bed to cry myself to sleep only to wake up gasping and sweating from a horrific nightmare.

            After another nightmare, I decided that sleep just wasn’t going to happen. It was almost six anyways. Clarke was dying, or might even already be dead, and I couldn’t get myself together. It was just too painful. So I trudged quietly down the stairs so I wouldn’t wake Jake from his sleep, and, figuring that dinner wouldn’t be made, rummaged through the fridge to find something to appease my growling stomach. I settled on some cold cut meat-roast beef-and made two sandwiches and grabbed a juice pouch and went outside, sighing almost happily as the cool breeze fluttered against my sweaty face. Not caring that I was still wearing an oversized shirt and short shorts that weren’t visible beneath the shirt and barefoot, I walked across the cool grass, across the lawn, and to the tire swing. I sat on the tire, spinning a bit as I munched on my food, but not satisfied. I squinted, looking up, and decided for the first time since my death to be completely in my territory. So, carefully holding half a sandwich and a juice pouch, I stealthily climbed the rope to the branch which I hung from. I smiled, a real genuine smile, as I sat in a tree, free from everything else in the world in this moment.

            “Lexa?” Jake’s alarmed voice filled the quiet air. He briskly walked around the yard, searching for me. Sucking in a deep breath, I called out to him.

            “Up here.”

            He looked up, startled. He relaxed when he saw mw in the tree. He moved to sit in one of the swings, gesturing to the other. I slid as carefully as possible down the tree and sat in the swing beside him.

            “I need to talk to you about a few things, kid.”

            I nodded, giving him permission to continue.

            “One, you’re in no trouble about your little breaking and entering escapade. Also, I’m not mad. Hell, I’m not even disappointed in you. Do I wish you’d come to me first? Yes, but you were only doing what you thought was best.”

            I fought the tears, nodding.

            “Second, I’m going to help you. I have a co-worker who’s going to help me. And I talked to Anya and Gustus-they’re going to sneak us in and help, and you just got to contact your accomplices from the other night. With the group of us, we’ll be able to try to help Clarke and the others.”

            Speechless, I threw my arms around his neck with a sob.

            “And lastly,” he mumbled into my hair. I chuckled and let him go. “I have something I want to ask you.” He handed me a big envelope and I opened it. I read it carefully, struggling to understand the words, and when I understood, I dropped the papers. I covered my mouth with my hand, not even stopping the flood of tears.

            “You’re serious?”

            He nodded, smiling, his own eyes glistening in tears. “You’re my family, Lexa. And I love you very, very much. I know you’re almost an adult, but I want to be there for you even when you hit adulthood and help you when you’re ready to get out in life on your own. I’d love more than anything to call you my daughter, and to adopt you. So, kid what do you say?”

            I threw my arms around his neck laughing happily. “I say yes!”

            “I think this calls for a celebratory dinner, don’t you think?”

            I nodded eagerly.

            “So, kid, let’s go prepare dinner as an official family.”

            We walked back into our home, his arm over my shoulder, me leaning into him. It felt better than anything to allow someone to take care of me, and to let me live instead of worrying about how to survive, in this world or the last.

            _Life is about more than just surviving_ , I thought. Those were my last words, my last words to my beautiful blonde girl. _You’re right, Clarke. You were so right_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Lexa and co. have a plan to save Clarke. But will she be able to save her in time?


	18. Her Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning on posting today, but it is Thanksgiving, so why not? 
> 
> This is one of my favorite chapters in Part 1 (There is 3 parts of this story: Death Is Not The End, Maybe Someday, When Someday Came)

“Come on,” Anya whispered, pulling Jake and I into the back door of Larkin’s building. Gustus met us inside with a grim smile.

            “You should’ve come to us first, _Heda_ , instead of breaking in.” I looked down, biting my lip.

            “It was my idea,” a familiar voice said, and Costia walked towards us with Ian in tow. She shot me a sly smile. She had feelings for Ian, but she still had feelings for me, that much she made very clear. I avoided her stare and just looked to Anya, who gave me a knowing look, as did Gustus. So I resorted to look at Jake. “Good to see you, too Lexa.” With a sigh, I turned my attention back to Costia. “I’m actually surprised you aren’t still locked up.”

            “You ran and left her on her own,” Anya snapped.

            “Anya,” I said quietly. “I told them to.”

            “Any good friend would’ve stayed or at least went to someone for help. _Kostia_ left you and ran back to the safety of her home. Didn’t call me, or try to find Jake’s number or address, didn’t even let the police know that you could’ve been in danger! Just left without a second thought.”

            “I didn’t think she was in danger!” Costia yelled.

            “The man who radiated the Phantom World to kill everyone in it-and did so _illegally_ -didn’t seem to be _dangerous_ to you?”

            “No? He grabbed her and called the cops.”

            “No,” Anya hissed. I’d never seen her so angry. I inched over to Gustus who pulled against him protectively, shielding me from the potential fight that was about to happen. “He grabbed her and bound her wrists and ankles and gagged her. _He hit her._ And then they threatened to beat her to the point where she’d _never be able to walk again!_ ” Costia paled and Anya stalked towards her.

            “Okay, okay. I don’t like it either, but we need to work together,” said Jake, stepping between the two of them. “I have two more people coming and then we have to go save all those left behind in the Phantom World.

            Anya kept an angry glare on Costia but backed over to us, giving Gustus a quick look and putting a hand on my shoulder. “ _Ste yuj_ ,” she whispered. I nodded to her.

            The door opened and two more people entered. I gasped, staring at the young officer. “ _Zack?_ ”

            He gave me a grin. “Hey, kid.”

            “What are you doing here?”

            “I’m doing what’s right. Plus, I figure if we save your girlfriend, you’ll spend less time in the police station,” he joked. It was a terrible joke, but I still gave him a tiny smile. Anya squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.

            “This is Aurora,” Jake announced, leading the second person, a woman around his age, to us. “Aurora Blake. She has two kids in the Phantom World.”

            “Blake,” I whispered. “Bellamy and Octavia?”

            Her head turned in my direction so fast I was surprised she didn’t get whiplash. “You know them?”

            I nodded. “Bellamy, I don’t know him too well.” I left out the part where he slaughtered three-hundred of my people who were sent to protect Arcadia. “But Octavia I know better. She was training under one of my best warriors, Indra.”

            “Octavia, a warrior?”

            “Yes, ma’am. She’s brave and strong and can fight with a sword very well. In the few months of training she had, she managed to beat out some of my finest warriors. She’s got skills, skills and strength that are rare, especially in Skaikru.” Aurora’s face broke into a smile. Probably to hear that, upon last seen, her children were doing well and that her daughter was thriving on the ground. “If we can save Clarke, then we can save them. They’re both close to Clarke, and odds are them and their other close friends are sticking together wherever they are.” And then, Aurora’s face was hopeful. Hopeful to find her children, well and alive, and to have them back in her arms the next day.

            Now complete, the group headed up the elevator to the top floor. I was able to get Larkin’s room opened and Ian, bless him, had some type of device where he managed to transfer all of Larkin’s files, locked ones and all, to Anya’s computer on the other side of the floor. We locked Larkin’s room back up and all huddled around in Anya’s office. Ian worked away at Anya’s computer, sitting in her big leather. I was squished between Gustus and Anya on the couch, not that I minded. Costia stood as far away from the group as possible, Zack on one side of the desk, and Jake along with Aurora stood on the other side, watching anxiously.

            “Guys,” Ian said, defeated after what felt like an eternity. “The radiation is completed. There’s no-there’s no going back.”

            “No!” I jumped up, yanking my arm out of Anya’s grasp. “There has to be a way!”

            “There isn’t.”

            “Can’t you dissipate it or something?” I urged anxiously, maybe a bit hysterically. Anya grabbed me from behind. “Can’t we go in and get them?”

            “Go into a radiation soaked dome?”

            “Isn’t there any fucking hazmat suits around or anything?”

            “Umm…probably? But radiation is set, everyone is dead.”

            “We don’t know that!” I screamed at him. I suddenly remembered something. “What about the Ark?” he gave me a look. “There’s an airlock, there could be survivors!”

            Ian hesitated. “It’s possible.”

            ..................................................................................................................................

            Ian the next few hours tweaking the system, trying to connect to any radios left in the Ark. “This is Ian Jordan, I am from the real world. Ark Station, come in!” He repeated that over and over again, eventually just recording his voice and playing on repeat.

            “There’s no one there,” Costia grumbled. “There’re noting there! They’re all de-”

            _“This is Clarke Griffin from Ark Station, come in.”_

            We all froze, staring at each other. _Clarke_. _She’s alive_. With tears of joy rolling down my cheeks, I grabbed the radio from Ian’s hand.

            “Clarke?”

            There was a moment of silence.

            _“Lexa?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Clarke and Lexa finally talk (on a radio, but at least they talk!)


	19. Osir gomplei nou ste odon nowe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Clarke/Lexa finally have a conversation over the radio. Last chapter of Clexa being apart! This is the rescue

We felt like giving up. Bellamy, Raven, Lincoln, Octavia, Jasper, Monty, Harper, Murphy, Emori, Roan and I. The radiation levels skyrocketed. The airlock was hot as hell, we were very low on food and, even worse, water. The room smelt terrible of human sweat and waste. Bellamy has suggested we open the doors, that the radiation was strong enough to kill us within hours. He said it would be a better death than dying of starvation and dehydration. Murphy argued with him. The line was drawing. Bellamy, Jasper, Monty, and Harper voted to die of radiation. Lincoln, Octavia, Murphy, Emori, Raven and Roan voted to stay in the airlock and survive. I had agreed with them, but I was started to lean towards Bellamy’s vote of opening the doors.

            The static scared us all when it began. The radio, which had been dead for days, maybe week--we all started to lose track of time-- began to static. A voice could be heard, but words weren’t made out. The male voice was unrecognizable. Then, it came through, after Raven turned a few dials of course.  

            _“This is Ian Jordan, I am from the real world. Ark Station, come in!”_

            “Real world?” everyone started talking at once. I shushed them. We contemplated the idea. _Real world_. Of course, if there was another world out there, they could certainly radiate this one, right?

            I took the radio mouthpiece Raven offered me.

            “This is Clarke Griffin from Ark Station, come in.”

            A few seconds later, another voice spoke. _“Clarke?”_

            I dropped the radio. How? Months ago, I watched her die. I watched her body burn. But I swear, that was her voice. Roan, Octavia, and Lincoln were wide-eyed, too. They heard it, too. So I picked up the radio. “Lexa?”

            _“Clarke, you’re alive.”_

            I stared at Roan in pure confusion. “Alive? Lexa—you…you _died_.”

            _“Clarke, this is the real world. The world you’re in, the world we were in, it isn’t real.”_ Shocked silence followed in all of us. After giving us a minute to let that sink in, Lexa continued. _“The real world created that world to see how man survived. They created the Ark, the ground, and Mount Weather. It was a test. But the same people who ran it just radiated it. We can’t stop the radiation, but Ian thinks we can get you. You need to tell us where you are.”_

            I was too speechless to respond. The girl I loved, the girl who died in my arms, was talking to me and telling me that she’s alive and that the very world I was standing in is some government test.

            Raven snatched the radio out of my hand. “This is Raven. Clarke is kind of…shocked.” She looked at me, and I tried to look back, but my vision was unfocused and I was swaying. “Murphy, if she faints you better fucking catch her, got it?” I didn’t see or hear Murphy’s response, but he must’ve acknowledged Raven because she put her attention back to the radio. “We’re in an airlock in Arcadia.”

            _“How many are you?”_

            “Eleven.”

            _“And who’s all there?”_

            “Well, obviously me, Clarke, and Murphy. Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, Jasper, Monty, Harper, Emori, and King Roan.”

            _“Okay, we need to go over how to get you all out of there. Keep the radio volume up, we’ll get back to you.”_

            “Okay.”

            _“And Klark? Ai hod yu in. Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim_.”

            “What did she just say?” Murphy asked.

            “She said _‘I love you. May be meet again.’_ ” Octavia said quietly.

            _I love you, too, Lexa_ , I thought, smiling softly as Octavia and Roan both put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

            .............................................................................................................................................................................................................

            I woke up with a start, sweating and shuddering from my nightmare.

            “You’re okay, Klark,” Roan said quietly. I looked around the room, seeing that everyone besides Roan and Raven were asleep. Roan was sitting near me, while Raven worked at her computer.

            “Roan? Was it a dream, or is Lexa alive and we’re in a fake world?”

            He smirked. “As crazy as it sounds, your love is alive-she in fact told you she loves you-and our world is some type of government test-whatever the hell that is. And Lexa is working with others to get us out. We’re waiting on news from her.”

            “How long have I been out?”

            “Just a few hours. Monty was at the radio, waiting for a message back, Raven sent him to rest maybe a half hour ago.

            I nodded. “It was so good to hear her voice.” I shuddered. “What if they can’t save us, though?”

            “ _She_ will. _Osir gomplei nou ste odon nowe, Klark kom Skaikru_.”

            I nodded slowly, unsure whether to believe him or not.

            _“Clarke?”_

            I leapt up, stepping on both Octavia and Harper running to the radio. Harper whined and Octavia grumbled a string of profanities at me.

            “I’m here.”

            _“We’re sending someone to get you.”_

            “When?”

            _“Right now. Just hold on. You’ll be here in just a few hours.”_

            “Lexa?”

            “ _Yes, Klark?”_

            “Ai hod yu in.”

            _“Ai hod yu in,”_ she echoed. _“I will see you soon. Ste yuj, Klark kom Skaikru. We **will** meet again._ ”

           ..........................................................................................................................................................

            Lights shining into the airlock woke us all up. A person in a hazmat suit stood outside, shining a flashlight.

            “Roan,” I whispered. “They’re here.”

            It took some time and carefulness. But the man-who said his name to be Zack-got us all hazmat suits. Within an hour, we were all in our suits and walking out the door.

            “Clarke? Are we all that’s left?” Monty asked in a quiet voice.

            I hesitated. “I don’t know, Monty,” I said wearily. “But, we’re going home. And that means that-if this world is what we were told-you’ll be reunited with your mother, Jasper with Maya, with our parents.” _And I’ll be reunited with Lexa_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: CLEXA REUNION


	20. We Made It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they are reunited!  
> \--POV changes, it will happen more often, and does so almost every chapter in PART 2

**_Lexa_ **

            I couldn’t stop pacing. Anya, Gustus, and Jake had repeatedly told me to sit and stop worrying. That Zack would find them. But I couldn’t. I would calm down and stop worrying until I saw Clarke walk through that door, saw her wavy blonde hair and her sparkling blue eyes. Until I saw her very much alive and very much alright.

            Ian flew into the room, wide eyed.

            “Ian? What’s wrong?” I asked, on the verge of hyperventilating.

            He smiled. “Nothing’s wrong, Commander. They’re back.”

            Everyone flew at the doors. “Woah!” he moved in front of them, hands up. “We don’t want to put them into shock, now do we?”

            Sighing, they all moved to the back of the room.

            And then they came.

            Zack came in first, smiling. Then a tall, lanky boy. Jasper. A dark haired boy with a blonde girl, Monty and Harper. The boy who was tied up in the room the night I died, Murphy, with a grounder-a clanless to the looks of it, who said her name was Emori in broken English. Lincoln came in, with Octavia on his heels. King Roan, then Bellamy, then—my breath caught. She walked in, her hair a bit of a mess, her blue eyes searching, and stopping on me. She mouthed my name, or maybe whispered so softly no one else could hear. Then she threw herself at me, grabbing me in a bone crushing hug. And I hugged her right back I let myself cry, holding onto the girl I loved. And I never wanted to let go.

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

            **_Clarke_**

            Zack led us through a door, and suddenly we were in another world. The real world. We stripped out of our suits and he ushered us into a van. Emori had the most issues with the vehicle, being the only one of us who’d never been in or around one. But Murphy coaxed her in it. The drive was silent, though I swear everyone heard my heartbeat. I was so close to Lexa. _So close_.

            “We’re here,” Zack announced and we all scuttled out of the building, following Zack, we went into a dark, back door of a building.

            “Is this a trap,” Harper whispered to me.

            “I hope not,” I whispered back. “I don’t think Lexa would let that happen.”

            “What if someone overheard her?”

            “Harper, breathe.”

            She let out a shaky breath but stayed silent. We were all silent. Silent on the elevator, silent when we reached the top floor, silent as we walked through halls, and silent until a door open. One by one, we entered, mumbling names. I was the last to enter.

            I looked around, and my gaze met stunning green eyes. Without a second thought, I ran to her, hugging her as tightly as I possibly could. I never wanted to let go.

            We all found our place. I was reunited with Lexa and my father-who I spent almost an hour hugging and crying into his shirt. Bellamy and Octavia was reunited with their mother, and she accepted Lincoln almost immediately, all pulled into a big family hug. Anya was taking Roan with her to stay until other arrangements were made. Zack was opening his home to Murphy, Emori, Jasper, Monty, Harper, and Raven, promising to try to find their families. Murphy’s parents were here, and Emori was dead set on staying with her boyfriend. Jasper wanted to find Maya. Monty knew his mother was here, and Harper swore to stay by his side. And Raven wanted to find Finn. He was the only family she had. But after speaking to my father, an offer was made that if she couldn’t find him or couldn’t stay with Finn, that his doors were open for her. And I would be forever grateful.

            “We’re on the street, we’ll be home in a minute.” _We_. I was completely in shock when I had found out that my father had adopted Lexa. And that he knew about our relationship, and had no issues. In fact, he even said _“If you guys do anything, lock the door so I can’t walk into something I don’t need to see.”_ Lexa and I looked at each other, red-faced and humiliated, especially since he said it in front of the departing group. But here I was, in a car on the way to a house that would be mine, in another world, with my father and Lexa. It’s funny how life works sometimes. My dad drove the car into a pathway-which Lexa called _the driveway_ -and stopped it. 

            “Home sweet home.”

            I felt Lexa’s finger lace into mine, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I followed her up the stairs and into the house. Jake let her give me the grand tour.

            “This is the kitchen, Jake keeps it very stocked with food.” _Food I don’t have to hunt for_. “The dining room, where we eat family dinners at.” _Family dinners. Lexa is family_. “The living room. The couch is _so_ comfy, and the TV is the _best thing ever_.” I actually laughed out loud at how dorky Lexa sounded. She made a face at me, which made me laugh even more. “Jake’s office, the porch…” We stepped outdoors. “That’s the swing set Jake built for me. It’s so much fun!” I smiled at how excited she was. It was so cute! She practically dragged me back indoors and up some fuzzy stairs. “That’s Jake’s room,” she pointed to a door. “And this is mine.” She opened her door and I stepped inside with awe. The wall was a beautiful beige color and blankets and pillows were a deep green. The black desk had a neat stack of papers, a bookshelf full of books, and a closet bursting with clothes and shoes-mostly boots and running shoes. “Come,” she dragged me out again and to a door down the hall. “ _This_ is your room.” We entered and my breath caught. The walls were white, the blankets and pillows were a stunning shade of sky blue. The silver desk had a large amount of unopened art supplies on it, a bookshelf was stocked with books, and there was a good amount of clothes in my closet. Most of the clothes resembled the style I wore in the other world. Courtesy of Lexa it seemed.

            It all seemed surreal. _And then it sunk in_. “We made it.”

            Lexa rested her head on my shoulder. “Yes, we did.”

            I reached behind me and pulled the door shut, turning the lock. Lexa looked up at me with a knowing smile. We met halfway, our lips connecting, and I swear sparks were flying. We stumbled to the bed, our faces staying connected. I pushed Lexa onto the bed, climbing on beside her. We pulled apart to get much needed air. I wanted more. I needed more. I pulled her long sleeved shirt over her head and eagerly unclipped her bra, tossing it on the floor. She laid back, with me hovering over her, my hand exploring her bare skin. Then my lips explored, kissing, caressing, finally being able to be with her. _Maybe someday, you and I won’t owe anything more to our people_. That day is now. I reached for her jeans zipper, yanking her pants down. She returned the favor, until it was just skin on skin. And we fell deeper into our love.

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

            **_Lexa_**

            I felt Clarke’s breath on my neck, her arms around my stomach, holding me close. I never wanted her to let go. Ever. I’ve never felt more at home than I do right now in Clarke’s arms. I rolled over so I was face to face with her.

            _“Ai hod yu in,”_ she whispered sleepily, leaning her forehead against mine.

            I smiled at her. _“Ai hod yu in, Klark.”_

At some point, we both drifted off into a deep slumber.

            Someone-Jake, I assume-knocked lightly on the door. I lifted my head, tiredly.

            “Hey, girls? I ordered food if you’re hungry.”

            I shook Clarke awake. “We’ll be down in a few minutes.”

            “Okay.” Footsteps retreated from the door. We groggily dressed ourselves and, holding hands, we headed down the stairs. I led Clarke to the dining room, where the strong smell of pizza filled the air.

            “Yes! Pizza!” I was suddenly more awake.

            “No jumping up and down? No tackling me? Clarke, what did you do to Lexa?” he joked. “Usually when I get pizza she’s all energy and I swear, she bounces off the walls.”

            Clarke stared at him, her jaw dropped and eyes wide. My cheeks heated up and I avoided her glance.

            “That’s adorable,” she commented, earning a chuckle from Jake and a glare from me.

            “I am not adorable.”

            “You kind of are.” And in a swift movement, Jake grabbed me, flipping me upside down, leaving me squirming. “Want to hear a secret, Clarke?” she nodded enthusiastically. I fought the urge to stick my tongue out at her. That’d just give her more reason to call me adorable. “Lexa here, is actually very ticklish.” A grin slowly spread across Clarke’s face.

            _“No!”_ I yelped.

            But it was wasted effort. Jake presumed to tickle my sides, with my dangling upside down, with me laughing until my sides hurt, amusing Clarke very much. Once I began to beg, Jake, slipped me back upright and ruffled my hair, grabbing plates. Clarke snaked her arms around my waist.            

            “Ticklish, huh?”

            _“Shop of,”_ I grumbled, a smile playing on my lips.

            “Hmm.”

            “Here you go, girls.” Jake handed us our plates. I collapsed into a chair, taking a big bite of the pizza. I swore I was in heaven.

            _“Oh my god, this is so good!”_ Clarke mumbled with a full mouth.

            Jake and I shared smiles as Clarke very much enjoyed her very first pizza. He brought up stories of my first time eating pizza, my first time watching TV, and basically any story of me being a teenage girl which delighted Clarke. Although those stories were embarrassing, I still smiled and laughed along with them. There was nothing I would ever not want to share with Clarke. She was it for me. This little family was it for me. We had been through so much. But we finally made it.


	21. I won't wear that

_One week later…_

_**Clarke**_

It had been a week since my friends and I were rescued from the other world. The news about what Larkin did spread rapidly. Almost everyone in the other world had at least someone in this world, and it angered them that their loved ones were killed so cruelly. _Killed_. And for _nothing_. Larkin had admitted the reason why he irradiated the other world. He hated the transitioned. He wouldn’t say why. But he hated it when operating it was passed on to him after his father passed.

There was a search and rescue team sent out two days ago to see if there were any survivors, anyone who was able to avoid the radiation like my group was. I doubted it. My mother, Kane, Miller and anyone else I cared about were more than likely gone. Lexa didn’t say anything, but I knew she was hurting over the loss of the Natblidas, especially Aden. And Octavia was destroyed over losing Indra. Even though she was reunited with her mother, she still was hurt over Indra’s death. Indra found her as a broken child, and turned her into a fearless warrior. She was the only one who understood why I wasn’t so broken over the loss of my mother. I had Lexa, same as she had Lincoln. Lexa and Lincoln kept the two of us whole. While we may be cracked, we were all still in one piece.

There was a memorial being hosted tonight. A memorial in honor of all who were lost. Most of the transitioned would be there. It was being hosted in a fancy hall with fancy food. Which mean fancy clothing. Dresses for the girls, suits for the guys. I didn’t have any issue having to wear a dress, but I knew two certain girls who would. Holding back a grin, I pulled the light blue dress from my closet to dress in. just another day in this new world.

**_Lexa_ **

“No. No way.” Anya just laughed at me. “There’s no way in hell I’m wearing that thing!”  
            “Yes, you are. All the women are to wear dresses.”

“No!”

Anya rolled her eyes. “You’re argues are futile, _Leksa kom Trikru_. You will wear this dress whether I have to dress you in it myself!”

I shuddered at the thought of that.

“You’d have to catch me to dress me. _And_ fight me while trying to put it on.”

It was Anya’s turn to shudder. “I don’t want to see you undressed for that long. And flailing.”

“No dress?”

She just laughed at me again. “Yes dress. If you insist on flailing around naked, then I’ll just call Jake. You won’t do that in front of your _father_ , would you?”

“Why not just call Clarke?’

“Because, you’re naked body would just distract her and the whole memorial would be forgotten and you’d be on that bed faster than you could blink.”

My cheeks turned red, knowing how true her statement was.

She grabbed the hunter green dress and held it out to me and I shook my head furiously. “Dammit, Lexa!” she turned to the door and my eyes widened, horrified.

“Don’t call Jake!” I pleaded.

She turned back to me with a smirk, handing me the dress. 

“I hate you,” I muttered. She laughed and hugged me too tightly, seemingly just to annoy me. She turned around, giving me privacy. I stripped and pulled the skin-tight dress on. “I’m decent.” She grabbed my wrist and pulled me to my mirror. “Damn.”

The top of the dress hugged my body tightly, which was nothing new to me. The sleeves were very thin, and the front showed of more than I liked, but it didn’t look bad. At all. The skirt was tight on my hips but fell loosely down to the ground. It was breathtaking.

“Wait until _Klark_ sees you in this.”

**_Octavia_ **

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Octavia Blake!” my mother hissed.

She was expecting the timid little girl who was hidden under the floor her whole life. She expected a girl who would need to be coaxed out of her shell. A girl who would be too afraid to speak, too afraid to do anything. Not the girl I am. A fearless, strong Grounder girl. A girl who jumped head first into the new world, who seemed to have too much of an attitude. I was not what my mother expected. But she seemed happy-happy that I wasn’t afraid and running through the new world without a care in the world. All thanks to Indra. _Indra_. Indra who found me broken and afraid of the world. Indra who slowed me I was stronger than I thought. Indra who taught me to fight and not to be afraid. Indra who gave me a place in the world. Indra who made me who I am today. Tonight I would be going to a memorial. A memorial to honor the ones we lost. Where I would tell the world about her. And I would. I was supposed to make a speech about her as she was the leader of Trikru so she would be honored. I requested to be the one. To be able to tell the world about her. She wasn’t the heartless warrior she appeared to be. She had a big, beautiful heart. She fixed me. Just thinking about her brought tears to my eyes.

“Octavia, honey?”

I jumped a little looking at my mom whose eyes were full of concern.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing. Just…thinking about someone.”

My mother hugged me, but didn’t ask. She didn’t even now Indra existed. But she would after tonight. “Honey, we need to get you ready.”

“No,” I whined.

_“Octavia.”_

“I’m not wearing that!”

My mother sighed, putting down the deep purple dress. “Is Clarke wearing a dress?”

I nodded.

“Put it on.”

“No.”

“Won’t Lincoln want you to wear a dress?”

“I could wear a paper bag and Lincoln would be happy.”

She sighed. “What about the person who you’ve been upset about since you came home? Wouldn’t they want you to wear a dress?”

Would she? If Indra saw me in a dress, she’d probably have a stroke. Me, her seken, in a bloody dress. She’s call me a Branwada or maybe an even better insult. She’d say I looked like a princess, and give me a disapproving look about it, but her face would soften when she remembered I was just a kid. And I laughed. I laughed at how Indra’s face would look. I laughed because of the fact that Indra would call me a Branwada or a princess. And then I started to cry. I cried because she wasn’t here to give me a look or call me a name. I cried because she was gone forever.

I cried until it was time to go.

And I wore the damn dress.


	22. The Lost Ones

**_Clarke_ **

The drive to the memorial was dead silent. Lexa fidgeted uncomfortably, which sent shivers down my spine. We were about to be thrown into a group of people from our world, some we knew, some we didn’t. Lexa didn’t seem nervous, but he didn’t seem thrilled either. If she had it her way, she’d stay in our house or yard and never leave. She, being _Heda_ , was still having trouble adjusting to things that in a week I had adjusted to. She probably never would. And I almost didn’t want her to. I wanted her to stay _Leksa kom Trikru,_ not just plain Lexa Griffin. Same as I never adjusted to the ground the way Octavia did. I was _me_. And now, Lexa is herself. That’s how it _should_ be.

“Are you hoping to see anyone at the memorial thing?” she whispered.

“Just my friends. Raven, Jasper, Monty, Harper, Roan, hell, even Murphy.”

“I know Raven and Roan obviously. Not sure about the rest.” I went to tell her but she shushed me. “Let me guess.” I grinned. “Jaspers the tall and lanky one, Monty the little black haired one, Harper the blonde, and Murphy the extremely rude one?”

I laughed quietly. “Yup.” I looked at my lap where my hands were folded. “I’m a bit nervous of who I might see, though.”

Lexa’s hand covered mine. “Who?”

“Mainly Finn.” Lexa stayed silent. Finn, who slept with me even though he had a girlfriend-Raven. Finn, who even when Raven came to earth still wanted me. Finn, who told me he loved me. Finn, who lost his mind. Finn, who I killed. Lexa was there-she was the one who ordered him the death of a thousand cuts. Killing him was mercy. But I had kissed him and told him I loved him before I thrusted the knife into his heart.

“Do you love him?” Lexa asked in a soft voice after what felt like an eternity.

“No,” I sighed. “He broke my heart.” I looked into those bright green eyes. “Even if I did have any feelings left over for him, I’d still choose you. _Ai hod yu in, Leksa kom Trikru._ ”

“ _Ai hod yu in, Klark kom Skaikru_.”

………………………………………………………………..

Lexa and I stepped out of the car behind and followed my father into a prestige looking building. Through some glass doors, and into what looked like a whole new world. The enormous room was filled with people, fancy round tables with white tables filled the empty spaces, a long table full of food and drinks lined one wall. Across the room was a stage with a microphone for the speeches, I assumed.

Lexa immediately spotted Anya and slipped from my grasp and headed over to her. I went to follow, but a very familiar face stepped out in front of me, blocking my path.

……………………………………………………………………………

**_Lexa_ **

I weaved through the people, ignoring the very familiar suffocating feeling. I kept an eyes on Anya’s dirty blonde hair, which was pulled up in a bun for this occasion. I broke through the crowd and stepped up beside her. She gave me a huge smile.

“I see you kept the dress on. I was worried you would bail on it the second I headed out.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Didn’t have time.”

She snickered. “Sure.”

Gustus came up behind me, ruffling my curls.

“ _Gustus!_ I spent forever dealing with her wild hair, you better not ruin in!” Anya growled, which left me giggling.

“Sorry.”

“You better be.”

“Can you guys just kiss and make up?” I said cheekily, causing Gustus to choke and spit out the punch he was drinking.

_“Kiss her?!”_

“ _Hey_ , you’ve never complained about kissing me before!” Anya growled.

My eyes widened at the revelation. I had a feeling there was something going on-why they were always together, why they growled at each other more than usual, the small smiles and glances the gave each other. It was just like Clarke and I were at the beginning of our relationship.

Gustus cupped my chin with his hand, making me look him in the eyes. “Don’t tell a soul about this, _Heda_.”

“I can’t make promises I might not be able to keep,” I said, ducking behind Anya with a laugh as he swiped for me. “Big ol’ Gustus, not wanting the world to see that he has a soft spot for my former mentor! How _adorable!_ ”

“I’m not adorable!” he growled.

“I’ve been telling you for months to stop calling me adorable, but do you listen? _Nope_.”

Anya gave him a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, Gus, but she’s got you there.”

“Haha!”

_If looks could kill, I’d be dead._

…………………………………………………………………………………

**_Clarke_ **

“Hey, Princess.”

_“Finn.”_

“I was hoping I’d run into you.” He ran a hand through his long brown hair, brown eyes searching mine. “I’ve been waiting for you for almost a year.”

“Finn, I…” _I’m in love with someone else._

“What? There’s someone else?”

I nodded.

“So?”

“ _So?_ Didn’t you learn anything from the first time around? What about Raven?”

He looked down guiltily. “She thinks I’m getting drinks for us.”

 _“What?”_ I sputtered. _“Again_ , Finn?”

“I don’t want her, I want you, Clarke.”

“No. I won’t do that to Raven. Or Lexa. God, not Lexa.”

I tried to walk around him but he grabbed my arm. “Clarke, please just hear me out.”

“No. Let me go. I don’t want to cause a scene.”

“No, not until you let me talk.”

I sighed. “Let. Me. Go.”

He tightened his grip on my wrist and I bit my lip. “You asked for it. I swung my fist, hitting him square in the nose. His hand shot up to try to staunch the blood that was splattering on his white shirt. _Lexa will be proud_.

…………………………………………………………………………………

**_Octavia_ **

It was almost time. Time to get up on that stage and give my speech. Speeches start at 6:30, and mine was first. I looked at the clock. _6:22_.

“It’s not going by any faster, O. keep staring at it and you’re just going to freak yourself out more,” Bellamy said, sitting beside me at the table. Lincoln was seated on my other side, rubbing soothing circles on my bare back.

“What if it’s terrible, Bell?” I whispered anxiously. “What I mess up my speech or trip and fall in front of all those people?”

“Shh. It’ll be fine. You volunteered to do this, remember? You wouldn’t volunteer to do anything unless you knew would could.”

“Well-” Lincoln began, but Bellamy shushed him. I rolled my eyes at the two of them. “You can do it, O.”

 _6:24_. “Deep breath. _Yu laik Oktevia kom Skaikru_. You’re fearless, a warrior. Indra wouldn’t have chosen you as her _seken_ if she didn’t believe that. That woman never messed around!”

I gave Lincoln the tiniest smile in agreeance.

“Does mom know you have a speech?”

I shook my head. “She doesn’t even know who Indra is.” _Was_ , I thought. But I refused to say it. _6:25_.

“Why are you so worried, Octavia?” Lincoln asked quietly. “Is it speaking in front of a crowd this size?”

I shook my head. “Not at all. The crowd doesn’t scare me, not at all. I’m just…what if I’m unable to tell everyone about Indra the way I want to? What if they don’t see her the way I do?”

“You wrote your speech on paper the other day, didn’t you?” he picked up the folded piece of paper. I nodded, taking it from him. _That’s the problem. 6:28_.

The director of the program stepped on stage and began explaining what would be happening. About how people would come up to stage and tell about _the lost ones_. Lincoln and Bellamy stayed on each side of me as we made our way to the back, towards the stage.

6:30 PM

“Our first loss on this list is _Indra kom Trikru_. The person honoring her with a speech is…Octavia Blake.”

I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath.

“You’ve got this, O.”

I climbed the stairs and walked to the microphone in almost slow motion and looked down to the crowd. Lincoln and Bellamy gave me reassuring smiles. I saw both Clarke and Lexa giving me big smiles, Lexa nodding at me. My other friends all giving nods of support. And my mom. She looked at me in shock, but there was a hint of a smile. She almost looked upset-probably because she had no knowledge I’d be giving a speech or that she never heard the name Indra before now.

I crumpled the paper in my hand.

“Hello, everyone. My name is Octavia Blake, and in the old world, I was Skaikru. Indra was Trikru. Skaikru and Trikru were originally enemies.” I drew a deep breath before continuing. “When I first met Indra, I was lost and on my. I was separated from my brother and friends, my boyfriend had been taken by reapers. She actually used me as reaper bait.” I let out a small chuckle. “Then she showed me which way to find my brother at. Next time I saw her was another negative experience. But the time after that, Skaikru and Trikru were in a tentative alliance. Her and her men were sent to train with Skaikru. Me, being the idiot that I am, decided to fight with one of her best warriors and got my ass kicked.” The crowd burst out laughing. Besides my mother, who looked slightly concerned. “Indra was impressed. This woman, who had scared the hell out of me and intrigued me at the same time, openly told me how impressed she was. She said that she has amazing that I didn’t give up. Her exact words were _‘strength of spirit like that is rare, it must be guided’_. She offered me the chance to be her second in command. Which is a warrior’s apprentice sort of. She taught me to be silent in the forest, to hunt, to fight with fists and swords. She taught me how to be strong.” I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. Lexa was staring at the ground mournfully. My mother looked like she was going to cry-not because she knew or missed Indra, but because I did. “I was her second for weeks. But it all changed in the war at Mount Weather. One second she was telling me I did well and that I was one of her people, next I had a knife to my throat and I was told I was no longer her second. Even after-when I saw her months later, injured from a bullet wound-I refused to let her go. It drove her insane, the fact that I wouldn’t go away. But she took me back. She took me back as her second, and thought she couldn’t fight because of the damage to her arm, she still taught me. She made me into the person I am today. And I am forever grateful to her.”

I bowed me head, stepping back to show my speech was over. The crowd applauded. There was a lot of glistening eyes and wet cheeks.

I was about to leave the stage.

But then-

_“You did well, Oktevia kom Trigedakru.”_


	23. The Found Ones

**_Octavia_ **

            _“Oh my God,”_ I whispered, shocked to say the least.

            She walked across the room, people parting for her.

            I stared at her, eyes wide. I had just said a memorial speech about her.

            She was _here_.

            She was _alive_.

            _Indra_.

            ………………………………………………………………………………

            **_Lexa_**

            “What’s going on?” I asked quickly to no one in particular. Clarke clutched at my arm.

            “Indra was in the other world, wasn’t she?” Clarke said in a hushed voice.

            I frowned. “I do not believe she came through before you did. I’m not sure if any came through after the radiation started.”

            “We need to talk to her.”

            I pointed to the stage where a very stunned Octavia stood, staring into the moving crowd. She sighed. “Let’s go find someone to talk to.”

            “Who would know?”

            _“I don’t know!”_

            She stepped away from me and I sighed. “I’m sorry, _Klark_. I’m just…anxious to find out how she’s here. And more importantly, if _anyone else_ came with her.”

            She gasped. “The search and rescue!”

            It clicked. Two days ago a search and rescue team was sent to find survivors. She must’ve been found. “Come on, then!”

            ………………………………………………………………………………..

            _“Heda!”_

            A horde of children ran my way. Not just any children. The _Natblidas. Aden_. _Kaia_.

            “Oh my god!” I was practically tackled and I laughed, hugging each of the children, tears rolling down my cheeks. Clarke smiled as Aden and Kaia lunged at her, pouncing. Little Kaia was no big issue, but Aden’s much larger self almost knocked Clarke to the floor.

            “Aden?” I called to the blonde boy. He turned to me. “Was anyone else rescued besides you guys and Indra?”

            “Yes!” he beamed.

            “Who?” Clarke and I asked at the same time, causing the two of us to giggle. Aden waited until we composed ourselves to answer.

            “ _Ontari kom Azgeda. Fisa Nyko kom Trikru_. Two boys- _Miller_ and _Bryan_ I believe they were called,” Clarke grinned ear to ear, and I assumed they were friends of hers. “Someone with a long name-he was also called _Java_ or something.”

            _“Jaha,”_ Clarke said in a not-too-thrilled tone.

            “Yeah, that guy. _Markus Kane_ , and _Fisa Abi_ I believe are the last ones.”

            _Fisa Abi_.

Clarke’s mother.

………………………………………………………………………………..

**_Clarke_ **

_Fisa Abi_. My mom. She was _here_. She was _alive_.

“Mom,” I whispered.

“They all here, Aden?”

He nodded enthusiastically. With a quick farewell, I ran off, dragging Lexa behind me. “My mom’s alive.” I didn’t receive a response, but I didn’t expect one. Lexa knew I needed to find my mother **_now_**. I wasn’t going to waste any time trying to comprehend a response and she knew it.

After what felt like hours of searching, which Lexa assured me was just over a minute, I finally spotted her. I jerked to a halt, causing Lexa to slam into me.

“Sorry.”

I just stared. And stared.

Then-

_“Mom!”_

She swung around, her brown ponytail whipping back and forth. Kane’s head popped into view and they stared at me.

“Clarke!”

I ran, dragging poor Lexa with me again. I let Lexa’s hand go, only to be engulfed into a crushing hug by my mother and her love. Her love.

“Dad.”

“What?” my mom cried.

“Dad’s here.”

They were both speechless. Her husband, his best friend. They floated him. They executed him, because he was right and they didn’t want to admit it. But I had let that go a long time ago. “Lexa’s been with him for months, since she…since she left.” I refused to say she died.

They both realized the brunette who was standing behind me.

“Hello, Marcus, Abby.”

“Commander,” the replied in unison.

“Just Lexa.”

I grinned. “According to Anya and Gustus, you’re still Heda.”

_“Shop of.”_

We both laughed and mom and Kane smiled despite the whole confusion of being in another world.

……………………………………………………………………………..

**_Octavia_ **

“Indra.”

I rushed down the stairs, almost tripping and falling on my face. But I made it down in one piece and ran to the woman, already crying like a baby. But the woman who was a mother-figure to me, whom I thought was dead, was standing in front of me. I think that I have a right to ball my eyes out.

Indra, not usually known for affection, wrapped me in a warm embrace.

“I loved the speech, child.”

“I thought you were dead,” was all I could muster.

“Strong, brave child. You’ve dealt with so much, yet you stay so strong. You’re breaking apart, yet you pulled yourself together to give a beautiful speech in front of so many.”

I laughed. Well, more like choked. “You should’ve seen me fifteen minutes ago.”

She chuckled. “Lincoln held you together?”

I nodded into her shoulder where my head was burrowed into. I felt a big hand rest on my back.

“You have your work cut out for you with this one.”

Lincoln chuckled. “I’ll have your help when she gets too much.”

I lifted my head and gave him a playful scowl.

“What? You’re a handful Octavia Blake.”

“I like _Oktevia kom Trigedakru_ much better.”

I sucked in a breath. “You meant that, Indra?”

“Of course, child. You’ve always been one of us. You were born for it.”

“She was born for what?” my mother’s voice cut in. I groaned, hoping she wouldn’t make a big deal about it.

“To be a _warrior_.” Indra said it confidently. “Even in this strange, new world, _Oktevia kom Trigedakru_ will _always_ be a warrior.”

“In this life and the next,” Lincoln added. I shoved his arm half-heartedly. 

My mother eyed Indra. “Who are you?” Her face showed that she knew, but she wanted to be certain. Indra saw it, too.

“Who do you think I am?”

“The person in my daughter’s speech.” Indra waited expectantly. “Indra.”

She smiled-which was as rare as rare could be-and held out a hand to my mother, who took it happily.

“Aurora Blake.”

She gave Indra her most sincere smile, which warmed my heart. “Thank you.”

Indra’s brow wrinkled. “For what?”

“For taking care of my daughter when I couldn’t. I will be forever grateful for what you did for her. You made her strong.”

Indra gave me a knowing smile and Lincoln squeezed my shoulder.

“She was already strong.”


	24. This is Awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever to update! I was in the hospital due to my crazy horse kicking me!

**_Clarke_ **

Saying that I was anywhere near comfortable was the understatement of the century. I’m not 100% what that means-I just know from what I pieced together from Lexa saying it. But my father wasn’t so keen on letting my mother and Kane go to a work house. So, after some awkward hellos and staring off in the distance, he very awkwardly offered to let the couple stay with us. _Couple_. His wife-who he _had_ to know was the one who _betrayed_ him, and his best friend who was not only the one who _arrested him_ , but was now in a _relationship with his wife_. I almost think that he offered our home to them because of me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother and I adore Kane and I was very happy for them when they got together, but having my dad back-and very much _alive_ -changed everything.

We left the memorial very early. Dad led them to his car. It would be a tight squeeze, and an awkward ride. I knew that much.

“Jake?” Lexa said from her spot beside me.

He looked towards us from where he was helping my mom into the backseat. “Yeah, kid?”

“Can I stay with Anya tonight?”

I looked at her, wide-eyed. She wanted to leave me to deal with this on my own?

My dad’s face softened. And I understood why. Of course. Lexa hated cars to begin with, and being stuffed with my insane family wouldn’t be fun.

Then if hit me.

 _My_ family.

It was just her and my dad. Then it was us and my dad. But now my mom and her boyfriend. She didn’t feel like she fit anywhere in the mix.

“Of course. Call me when you get to her place.”

I gave her hand a squeeze. “Lexa-”

“I know, Klark.” He gave me a quick peck on my lips and disappeared.

I jumped when my phone vibrated loudly. Phone. Having a phone was so weird! I pulled it out of my clutch and smiled at the lock screen-a photo my father had snapped of Lexa and I-and unlocked it. My smiled grew as Lexa’s face appeared on the screen with a text message.

Lexa: _I’ll call you tonight, ai hodnes. Not really ready to deal with all that drama_.

Clarke: _Ok. Ai hod yu in, you’ll always have a place here_.

Lexa: _I know. I’ll be back once everything is settled_.

Lexa: _Oh! Anya said that if things get too crazy for you that she’ll gladly pick you up. She has no problem letting you stay for a bit._

I looked over to the car, where my mom and Kane were arguing over who got the front seat.

Clarke: _You know what? I’m heading inside to find you guys._

Lexa: _Uh oh_.

Clarke: _Uh on is right!_

“Dad! I’m going to Anya’s with Lexa!”

I ran inside before I heard the response.


	25. Adorable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Anya really like to tease poor Lexa!

“This is great, Anya,” I said with a smile to the woman. Turns out, she’s one hell of a cook. And the shepherd’s pie she made for Clarke and I was extremely delicious.

“It really is,” Clarke agreed.

She smiled warmly. “Thanks, guys.”

She ruffled my curls as she walked by, causing me to scowl and Clarke to giggle.

“You’re so-”

“Clarke, don’t you dare!”

“-adorable!”

Anya laughed loudly, leaning onto the counter. “Dammit, Clarke!”

Clarke giggled, not ashamed at all. “C’mon, Heda, let the girl mess with you! It’s so amusing to see you so adorable!”

I growled. “I hate you both right now.” I stormed off into Anya’s spare room.

…………………………………………………………………………….

“Lexa, come on!”

I heard the doorknob rattle as Anya tried to come in. I wasn’t angry-I wasn’t so much to begin with-but I wanted to show how much I hated being called adorable. So I just smirked at the ceiling.

“Lexa, _please!”_ This time it was Clarke’s voice. And no matter how much her calling me _adorable_ bugged me, I couldn’t stand the thought of her being upset.

My phone buzzed.

_Clarke: I’m sorry. You can choose the movie._

_Lexa: And ice cream?_

_Clarke: With whipped cream and lots of sprinkles. The rainbow ones._

_Lexa: Deal_.

I opened the door, stepping out. From the unhappy look on Anya’s face I assumed she read mine and Clarke’s small conversation. And she was set in picking the movie apparently.

………………………………………………………………………………

Twenty minutes later, the three of us were sprawled out on Anya’s massive couch. I had chosen the very popular _Hunger Games_ movie. Not that I was into it. I only chose it because I knew how much Anya disliked it. After spending my childhood training and my teenage years being a commander for all my people, it actually felt good to sit back and do things like putting on a movie that infuriated my former mentor.

My phone vibrated yet again and I couldn’t help but grin. Especially since Clarke was staring at me, phone in hand.

_Clarke: you don’t seem into the movie_

_Lexa: I’m not. Only chose it cause Anya hates it_

_Clarke: OMG you’re horrible!_ She was trying her best not to laugh.

_Clarke: at least you liked your ice cream_

_Lexa: of course! You made it for me-as a bribe-ai hodnes_

_Clarke: I had to bribe you_

_Lexa: I know_ _J_

_Clarke: …why the smiley face, Lex?_

_Lexa: I wasn’t even that mad. I just threw a fit for Anya._

_Clarke: you’re terrible!!_

_Lexa: I know. Shut up and come share my ice cream_.

She moved over and we very much enjoyed sharing the icy dessert and cuddling. But we liked the cuddling much, much more.

This was the best damn movie night I’ve ever had. And I didn’t even watch the movie.


	26. Endless Possibilities

Anya had gone to bed over an hour ago, but Clarke and I were wide awake, lying in Anya’s spare room bed. I was lying on my back, with Clarke’s head on my chest, with me playing with her blonde waves. Just laying, silently.

Clarke cleared her throat before speaking. “Lexa?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you want? For the future, I mean?” her voice had almost a deep sadness to it, which I couldn’t place.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…this is a new world. There are _endless possibilities_. Do you really want to be with me, here, in this new world? You have so many options. You could finish your transition high school and then go off and see anything or _everything!”_

_“Clarke.”_

She sighed, lifting her head to look at me. “Be honest, Lexa.”

“I have no world that you aren’t in.”

“Lexa. _Endless possibilities_. I don’t want to hold you back.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“ _What?_ ” she groaned laughter was not the reaction she was expecting.

“ _You_ hold _me_ back? It’s the other way around, Klark.”

“But…you’ve been here months longer than I have.”

“Yes. But I can’t find my way around-I only know the way to school and back. I can’t go shopping without help. And I can barely get into a vehicle without having a panic attack! You’ve already walked through the whole damn neighborhood, you can go to the store no issue, and you asked Jake if he could teach you to drive!”

“I wouldn’t say I can shop no problem,” she joked. I didn’t find it amusing. I was too wound up for that. “Look, Lexa. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. Not unless you tell me to leave. And maybe not even then.” I gave her the smallest smile at that.

“Endless possibilities, Klark. That’s what we have.” I yawned. “Now shut up and go to sleep!”

She chuckled, whacking me with her pillow before laying down beside me.

******

Anya is a terrible nuisance in the morning.

She got up at seven on a _weekend_ , and started moving around. I glared at the clock, blaming it for allowing it to be this early. The sounds of pans being pulled from their cabinet and tossed on the stove left me, and now Clarke, groaning. Then the sizzling sound. Then-

“Do I smell bacon?” Clarke’s head popped up, sniffing. “Yes, I do.”

I growled into the pillow before sitting up beside her.

“I hate that you love food.”

She put a hand on her growling stomach. “I know. But I can’t help it, Lex.”

I sighed. “I know.” I went to flop back down in the bed to try to get a bit more sleep. But then my stomach growled, and Clarke grinned at me. “Traitor,” I hissed to my stomach. With a long-suffering sigh, I followed Clarke into the kitchen.

“Hey, sleepyheads! Sorry if I woke you,” Anya said with a grin which clearly said _I’m not sorry_.

 _“You did.”_ I growled at her.

“Well, let me get you some food in your stomach. Trust me, you’ll forgive me instantly.”

“I’m not the forgiving type.” I received an elbow in my ribs from Clarke. I let out a quiet _ouch_ and gave her a glare, rubbing my side. She flashed me a smile, knowing too well that I’d forgive her in seconds. Which I did. _Damn it, why did I?_

“You wouldn’t forgive me, but you forgive her?” Anya held a hand to her chest, feigning hurt. But I could see the sparkle in her eye. She was happy for me, happy I found someone. Someone who wasn’t Costia.

“She’s so much more likeable. Plus, I get more from her than food,” I replied with a wink. Clarke choked on her juice. I almost felt bad. _Almost_. But not quite. Anya just stared at us, brown eyes wide.

“You guys didn’t-my spare bed-you didn’t do…” she trailed off.

I laughed lightly. “Your precious bed is fine, Anya.”

She let out a breathy laugh of relief.

“But not for long.”


	27. Last Day

“Yes, dad. We’ll be back tomorrow,” Clarke said on the phone, pacing. I bit my lip, eying her. I wasn’t looking forward to going back to the house. My house. There was going to be tensions running high. I wasn’t a fan of Abby, more because she was never a fan of me. I didn’t think she’d approve on Clarke and I being together, and from the worried look on Clarke’s face she thought the same. “Yes, dad, I promise.” She hung up, sitting beside me on Anya’s spare bed.

“When will Anya be back?” She had left a half hour ago to do some much needed all day shopping.

“This evening.”

She nodded. “So. This is our last day before we enter the mad house.”

I couldn’t help but giggle, which I hated instantly as Clarke grinned at me. I knew what she was thinking. That I’m _adorable_. _Which I’m not_.

“Yeah.”

“Last day to just be happy and relax.”

I nodded.

“Last day to do this…”

She leaned in, stopping inches from me. I could feel her breath on my lips and I swallowed hard. I leaned in, closing the space between us. My lips pressed against hers eagerly. Oh, God. Her lips were so soft.

            I deepened the kiss, and her hands tangled in my hair. I reached up and caressed her cheeks without braking the kiss. She pushed me back so I was on my back with her hovering over me, hands roaming. I moaned, needing more. “Klark…”

            “We can’t,” she whispered me. “We promised Anya.”

            I shook my head, breathing heavily. “We promised we wouldn’t do it in her spare bed.”

            “You want the couch?”

            I smirked, calming down. “Her bed.”

            Her eyes widened comically. “You’re trouble.”

            “I know.”

            “Let’s go.” She pulled me up and we took over Anya’s room, making sure the door was locked. “She better not show up early.”

            I giggled again, cursing myself. I let Clarke guide me to the bed, pushing me down. She kissed me deeply, hands roaming. Her hands moved under my shirt and I shivered at the touch.

            “May I?” she asked, tugging at my shirt.

I nodded and she pulled it over my head, hands sliding at my now exposed skin. She pulled gently at my bra strap and I nodded again as she unhooked it, tossing it to the floor. She stared at my bare chest, and I shuddered.

This felt brand new. Even though we had done this more than once before, this felt brand new. She lowered herself kissing my jaw, down my chest, then to my breast. She nipped and sucked and my back arched. I grasped the bed sheets as if my life depended on it. She gave each breast equal attention. She kissed down my stomach and pulled at my waistband. I raised my hips in consent and she pulled my jeans off, followed by my underpants.

            “ _Klark…_ ”

            She gave me a smile and lowered down, kissing between my thighs and my breath hitched. _“Klark.”_ She slipped a finger inside me, swirling around and I was panting. She licked and sucked and I tangled my hands in her blonde waves. She added two fingers, pumping in and out and I moved my hips to the motion. My labored breathing spiked. “ _Klark_ , I’m coming.” I felt myself come loose and she climbed up to lay beside me as my breathing calmed down.

            “My turn.”

            I rolled onto her, pulling her shirt and bra off and giving her breasts the same treatment she had given mine. Sucking and nipping, letting my hand slide down and into her pants, rubbing a finger into her. Teasing her.

            _“Lexa,”_ she whined. I just grinned, moving back up to kiss her. “Lexa, _please_.”

            I gave in, sliding down to pull off her jeans and underpants. I felt her hand tangle in my hair to keep me in place, though I couldn’t imagine moving away from her at this moment. I flicked my tongue between her folds, earning a moan of pleasure from her. I used two fingers, leaving her panting and begging. _“Lexa.”_

            Yes, this was the perfect way to spend our last day.


	28. Welcome to the Mad House

_Clarke_

            The drive back to the house was silent, tense. I wasn’t prepared to deal with my mom. But I might never be. My mom and I never had the best relationship. I was always closest with my dad. Lexa didn’t want to return, especially not with all the drama that would happen when we arrived. She was never a people person. Yes, she was Heda and was in charge of thousands, but she didn’t have to have any emotional ties to them or deal with their problems on a personal level. They were her people, she was their leader. Strictly so. Now, they were more or less, her family-they were older, they were in charge-and she just a kid to them. I was always the kid, the daughter, the student. At least until I went to the ground, then I was a leader. Lexa? She’s a Natblida, born and raised to be a future leader. She was never the daughter. She wasn’t, even at her young age, considered a child. She was the leader of everyone despite her youth.

            “Here we go, guys.” Anya stopped at the end of the driveway. “Remember, if you ever need to, my door is always open for you.”

            I nodded, letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

            “Thank you.”

            She gave us both a reassuring smile as we climbed out of the car. I reached for Lexa’s hand and she intertwined our fingers. “This might not end well…”

            I glanced at her curiously. “What do you mean?”

            “I mean, as the former Heda I have superfast reflexes and I get pretty defensive, so if anyone-well, your mother or Kane-tries anything physical-even a surprise hug if it comes to it-I might not have the best control.”

            “Ah. I’ll keep them away or at least keep them from any surprise attacks.”

            She gave me a tight smile as her thanks.

            “Now, let’s get this over with.”

            We headed up the stairs to the door, my hand still holding onto Lexa’s. I hesitated with my free hand on the doorknob. We weren’t in any rush. Not really. Yeah, we wanted to get it over with, but we weren’t ready to let go of our blissful moments.

            “Clarke…”

            I sighed. “I know.”

            I opened the door and entered. My father hurried to the door and his face broke into a relieved smile when he saw us. He reached for me first and I hugged him like my life depended on it. Then he grabbed Lexa is a crushing hug, and she surprised me by returning it. But yes, she knew him. Was comfortable with him. She didn’t need to get defensive with him like she would with my mother. My father didn’t spark the _Heda_ within her.

            “Clarke, honey.”

            I tensed at my mom’s voice. Yes, I love her. I care about her. But with my father standing here, I’m reminded more than ever about how she betrayed him, something I’ve never _fully_ forgiven her for. Something I would never fully forgive her for.

            “Mom.”

            She wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back. It was good to know she was alive. Even if this changed _everything_. For both Lexa and I.

            “Lexa, hello.” She said once she released me. It wasn’t a cold hello, but it wasn’t a _nice_ one either.

            Lexa nodded at her in her stoic commander mask. _You don’t need to do that here_ I wanted to yell at her. But she’s _Lexa_. She would always a have a part of that in her. A big part. And honestly, I’m sort of glad. I love my _Heda_ , the caring and adorable side and also the stoic and dark side as well. That’s what makes her _Lexa_.

            “It’s good to see you Clarke, Commander.” Kane stood apart from us awkwardly.

            “It’s…just _Lexa_.”

            He shifted hi feet. “Lexa.”

            My dad cleared his throat after a long moment of awkward silence. “You girls hungry?”

            We both nodded. So he began moving around the kitchen, grabbing pans and such. There were too many people crowded in the room so I grabbed Lexa’s wrist and pulled her to the living room to couch. I could hear my mom’s voice, rising and falling, like she wasn’t sure how to react. She wasn’t the only one. Lexa sighed beside me.

            I gave her a forced smile. She rolled her eyes and I chuckled lightly.

            “Welcome to the Mad House.”

            _Lexa_

            I didn’t know how to react. Like, seriously. Kane wasn’t too bad. The times I dealt with him in the other world was not the worse I had. But _Abby_. She was whiny, she complained way too much, she had a bad attitude, and wanted everything to go her way. She thought she was the best thing to grace the earth. And now I have to live with this woman, she was my superior, and she was more or less family. I knew-I just do-that she’ll make my relationship with her daughter impossible. I hope I’m wrong, I really do. Because is decides to make this mad house any more uncomfortable and unpleasant than it already is, then I might just be tempted to use one of my wooden swords on her in an unpleasant way. I don’t think Clarke would appreciate me killing her mom. And I wouldn’t like being arrested again-this time for real.

Like her or not, I need to behave. Or at least not hurt or kill her.

This is going to be a hard task.


	29. Snapping Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa really doesn't like Abby. AT ALL. And overtired Lexa is quite amusing.

**_Clarke_ **

_My mom was out of control. She took too much pleasure of being in charge of Lexa and I. Only, she wasn’t legally in charge of Lexa. But my dad-he wasn’t going to say anything. And Lexa-she was getting tenser and angrier by the second. If Lexa blows up…there’s be no way to stop her. If she blows up at my mom-my selfish, careless mother-I might just love her even more. Because I want to blow up at her. But I can’t. I’m her daughter, and she’s my mother._

**_Lexa_ **

I tapped my foot impatiently under the table. I really wanted to beat the sense into Abby. I really, _really_ wanted to.

“ _Mom!_ Come on!”

“Don’t ‘ _come on, mom_ ’ me, Clarke Griffin. I said no, so that’s final!”

“But all our friends are going!”

“Clarke, _no!_ ”

I let out a loud, insufferable sigh.

 _“Not now, Lexa!”_ she snapped.

I groaned. “You can’t tell me what to do. Or what I can say.”

 _“Excuse me?”_ I pissed her off. Good.

I rolled my eyes, I knew she hated that.

“For one, you have no right to say anything to me. You’re Jake’s _ex_ -wife, who is greedily still living in _his_ house, eating _his_ food, using _his_ money. And why? Because you’re a huge bitch and he’s afraid to say no for the sake of his daughter!” I raised my voice, standing when she did. Her face was bright red and she went to interject, but I was on fire. I wasn’t stopping now.

“You know, I’ve _never_ liked you!” my voice changed to almost a growl. Jake cringed. “The second I met you, you were whiny and wanted it your way or no way. But guess what? _Life doesn’t work that way!_ Not _there_ , not _here_! You labeled us _grounders_ as savages because we were different. _Here?_ Everyone is different! That’s life! And I am tired and sick of you treating me like I’m something you found stuck to the bottom of your freaking shoe and you treating Clarke like she’s a little kid! We deserve better than that!”

“You deserve nothing! _You’re just a girl!”_

I laughed bitterly. “ _Ai laik Heda_. I will always be Heda. So show some respect, Branwada. Because in this world, the saying is ‘ _karma is a bitch_ ’ and, well, it’ll catch up to you.”

She raised her hand to slap me. How dare she?! She lashed out and I grabbed her wrist in the tightest hold I could have inches from my face. “How dare you,” I hissed. I felt hands grab my waist and try to pull me back. “I could destroy you.”

“ _Leksa_ …”

“I could, but I won’t.”

“ _Leksa_ , come on…”

“I’m not going to do anything to you because that would hurt your daughter, who I love very, very much.”

This time I let Clarke drag me from the room and upstairs to my own. She kept shooting me sideways glances to make sure I wouldn’t snap at her.

“I think you just hit your snapping point.”

I nodded. “Keep her away from me.”

“I will. Promise.”

I nodded and let her pull me into the bed. She forced me to lie down and she began rubbing my back, humming a soft tune.

“ _Klark?_ ”

“Hmm?”

“Where is it that you plan on going?”

“Oh. Octavia-her and the gang are going camping. In the woods. Real woods.”

I smiled lazily. I liked the sound of that. “Who’s _the gang?”_

“Octavia, Bellamy, Gina, Lincoln, Raven, Jasper, Maya, Monty, Harper, Murphy, and Emori.”

“You mean we’re going on a couples retreat in the woods?”

She laughed. Like, a real laugh.

“Well, a nice camping trip might take my mind of murdering your mother.”

She chuckled. “Yes. She might be oh so infuriating, but I like her warm and breathing.”

“Warm?”

“You know what I mean… _Lexa_.”

“Why warm? How about hot?”

“ _Lexa_.”

“I could cook her to well done. She’d still be alive, right? If she was cooked?”

“ ** _LEXA!_** ”

I sighed loudly. “I’m tired.”

“I can tell. Now go to bed, weirdo. And stop saying ways to demolish my mother.”

“I won’t say ways I want to destroy your mother.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll just dream them.”

Clarke gasped and whacked my head gently before settling beside me and we both drifted off into a deep sleep, which was very well needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two left!   
> BUT there is a sequel!


	30. Discovering Us Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 1 of the FINALE  
> I will be posting the FINAL chapter later tonight   
> The SECOND PART of this series is called Maybe Someday and the first chapter will be posted this weekend. It is the same story, but there's a time jump.

“Are we there yet?”

            I groaned, once again. When Clarke told me we were going on a camping trip with all her friends-which I argued was a couples retreat as all her friends were dating one another-she forgot to mention it was a six hour drive. A six hour drive, a week at a lake house that Jake just happened to own, and then a six hour drive back. The only reason we were all allowed to go spend a week at a house alone that far away was because Anya volunteered to chaperone. And by chaperone, she meant bring her huge ass DVD collection and spare surround sound system to use on Jake’s huge ass TV. Who has a spare surround sound system?

            All of us were in Gustus’ huge van-bus thing that he leant to Anya for the week. Which is complete torture. Octavia, who was practically on poor Lincoln’s lap, kept complaining every five minutes or asking non-stop questions. Bellamy and Gina looked uncomfortable as hell-they were older than us so didn’t really hang out with us. Jasper, Raven and Monty were talking about the huge mass of fireworks they were bringing wile Maya and Harper shared mutual looks of horror thinking that their loves would blow themselves up-or more likely that they’d piss Raven off and she’s blow them up. Murphy and Emori had that split headphone thing and were intently watching a movie on Murphy’s phone. Clarke was listening to music from her iPod and I was observing everybody. I hated being still this long. And were only four hours in. Two more to go.

            Clarke made me promise not to kill or injure her friends, but it was going to be harder than I thought.

            “Are we there yet?”

            Anya made a sound that almost sounded like growling. “No, Sky Girl!”

            “Well, when will we be there?”

            “When we get there!”

            “Octavia!” I groaned. “Two more hours.”

            She groaned loudly. “Come on!”

            “Clarke.” I tapped her shoulder and she pulled an earphone out of her ear.

            “Hmm?”

            “You said were going to the woods-real woods. But we’re going to a lake house?”

            She smiled. “There is a lake house. But there is woods surrounding it. Lots of them. And a clearing in the woods where my dad said is safe to put tents up if so desired.”

            Octavia squealed.

            “Don’t get me wrong-I love having a big queen bed, my flat screen TV, and my mom’s giant refrigerator, but I love being out in the woods so much better!” I smiled. She and I were so much alike sometimes.

            “We can have a fire,” I began, “and cook hot dogs and pretend it’s something we caught.”

            “Ooh!” Jasper joined it from behind us. “We can put the hot dogs in like coolers or something and do a scavenger hunt to find them! So like old times we have to hunt for our own food. It’ll be fun!”

            There were lots of agreeing sounds coming from everyone in the car besides Murphy and Emori who had their earphones still in. so Monty tapped their shoulders and filled them in. Murphy just grunted but Emori was happy.

            “It’ll be just like old times!” she agreed.

            Everyone fell into soft chatter about plans for when we arrived. The next two hours flew by so quickly.

                                                            ******

            Anya pulled into the long, winding driveway of the lake house just before three. There was a bunch of pushing and shoving as everyone tried to leave the van-bus at once. Six hours left us all tired and stiff. We all looked at the lake house in awe. It wasn’t a mansion, but it wasn’t a little cabin-like place either. The house was good sized and two stories. A huge screen porch with very comfy looking chairs and loveseat greeted us.

            “I need a bed,” Murphy yawned, stretching.

            “A bed. Seriously? We’ve reached freedom and all you want to do is sleep?” Octavia asked incredulously.

            Murphy held up his hands to the former warrior. “It was a long drive!”

            She huffed. “It was a long drive for all of us!”

            “O!” Clarke decided to intervene. “Let him sleep if he wants to. Last thing anyone wants is him in a pissy mood and ruin the week.”

            Murphy scoffed and I hid my grin. Of course she defended him with an insult.

            “Of course I wouldn’t ruin your precious vacation, Princess.”

            “Don’t call me that.” she crossed her arms, glaring at him. “I mean it, Murphy.”

            “What’s wrong, Princess?”

            I growled. “Murphy, stop being such an ass and go take a freaking nap!”

            Most of the group laughed as he grumbled and stalked towards the house. Emori stayed with us, much to Murphy’s dismay. She wanted to take part in the whole scavenger hunt thing that Jasper and Monty were planning.

            “Soo…who’s going to hide the cooler?” Monty asked.

            “Coolers,” Jasper corrected.

            “Coolers?” Monty repeated. “You mean to tell me there’s more than one cooler?”

            Jasper grinned widely. “You should know me by now, buddy! Of course there is. One cooler has the hot dogs, one has the marshmallows, and one has non-water drinks. By non-water drinks, I mean juice for the wimps, soda for the braver, and alcohol for the big kids.”

            “Is it better than Monty’s moonshine?” Harper spoke up.

            “Close!”

            There was a murmur of agreement.

            “So, who hides them?”

            “Well…they’re already hidden.” Jasper admitted.

            “What? By who?” I blurted out.

            “Hello, Heda.” a person moved out from the shadows and I let out a relieved laugh when I saw who it was.

            “Well, well, well.” Clarke grinned, stepping forward to meet him. “Look who it! The king of Azgeda!”

            He chuckled heartily. “If it isn’t Wanheda herself!” his eyes flicked to me. “And Heda Leksa kom Trikru!”

            I smiled, stepping towards him. “Hello, king Roan kom Azgeda.”

            He smiled brightly and reached out, grasping my forearm in the grounder manner. We may be in this world now, but that doesn’t change who we are. We are Grounders.

                                                            ****

            “Okay, people!” Roan’s voice boomed. “I am the only one who knows where the three coolers are! There are-how many of you are there?” he quickly scanned his eyes over us, counting. “Twelve of you. Wait-where’s the bad attitude boy-he’s always with you, isn’t he?” he asked, pointing at Emori.

            “He’s sleeping, he told me to wake him when we find all the coolers.”

            He nodded with a hum. “You’ll be split into teams. Three teams, and since this is a couple’s thing, then you can do two couples per team.”

            Octavia drug Lincoln over, grabbing my arm tightly. Very tightly. “Octavia,” I hissed and she lightened her grip very slightly.

            “We’re going with Lexa and Clarke!” Octavia called, reaching to pull Clarke closer.

            Jasper, Maya, Monty, and Harper clustered together as another team.

            Bellamy and Gina glanced at each other before moving to Emori and Anya who looked so out of place. I almost felt sorry for Anya. Almost.

            “I’m going into the house,” Raven called. “I’m not getting lassoed into some couples shit. Nor do I want to go running through the forest.” She then headed into the house.

            I assessed each team. My team had Clarke who had pretty good survival skills, Octavia who was fearless, Lincoln who was observant, and myself who could navigate through the forest. We had good odds. The next group had Monty who was smart, Jasper who was smart, Maya who was careful, and Harper who was brave. Smart, careful, and brave might be enough to help them win, but do they know how to use those things? I don’t think so. The final group was Bellamy who was a cocky asshole, Gina who was smart as far as I could tell, Emori who lived for cheating and shortcuts, and Anya who was the only one who might give them a chance because there was no way to cheat in this game and being a cocky asshole sure as hell wouldn’t win anything either.

            “Each team will receive a copy of the clues. Be observant of your surroundings, listen to each other, and most importantly have fun. Once you head into the forest, your timer will begin. When you return with your cooler, the timer stops. The one who finds their cooler in the shortest amount of time-so pretty much whoever finds their cooler and returns first-wins. Unless one tea has more than one cooler. Then they win.” Roan explained to us.

            Monty raised his hand and Roan nodded to him. “What’s the prize?”

            Roan grinned slyly. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, now won’t you?”

            My group chuckled. Poor Anya’s team didn’t stand much of a chance. It was my team who had the upper hand in navigating forests and figuring out surroundings versus Jasper’s team who had the upper hand in intelligence and deciphering clues. If they can work together and use their brains they’ll be quite a challenge. I know my team can work together and put all our resources together. If we can do it to save the world, we can do it for food and to be able to say we’re winners. 

            “Ready?”

            “YES!”

                                                            ******

            “I am gooey and like to warm your bellies-” what the fuck? “You’ll find me where your feet become gooey and your bones will be chilled.”

            “Who the fuck wrote that?” Octavia asked.

            “I want to know the same thing,” I added.

            “Roan,” Clarks groaned, “who else?”

            Lincoln reached a hand out. “Can I see the clue?” I handed to him.

“Gooey…warm…gooey…cold.” I mumbled to myself. “Marshmallows are gooey and are cooked over the fire…gooey feet, gooey feet. Steeping in something gooey…in something cold…water!”

Everyone jumped. “Feet become gooey is stepping in mud, chilled bones in being in ice cold water! Is there a river or lake nearby?”

Octavia grinned. “One way to find out.” She began scaling up a tree.

“O, be careful!” Clarke called out worriedly.

“She’ll be fine,” both Lincoln and I said together. We looked at each other and laughed. Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Over there!” Octavia dropped down from the tree suddenly, scaring us.

“Dammit, O!”

“Where, Octavia?” she ran ahead of us excitedly, babbling the whole way. We followed, and before long we were at the edge of a lazy river. “Woah…”

“Gooey feet…” Clarke felt the water, jerking back immediately. “Chilled water!”

“There it is!” I pointed excitedly. I saw the cooler peeking from the water.

“Oh, no,” Octavia groaned. “Who’s going to get it?” she hummed. “Lexa!”

“No!” Clarke and I yelled at once. “I don’t want my girlfriend getting frostbite!”

“Well…I don’t want my boyfriend getting frostbite!”

I groaned after a minute. “Fine.”

“Lex…”

“I’m fine, Klark.”

She groaned but stepped back. I stepped into the icy water, holding back a scream. I waded down to my waist before plunging in and swimming rapidly to the cooler, which was wedged between a few rocks. It took what felt like forever to free it and swim it to shore. Clarke pulled me out and I couldn’t help shivering, my teeth clanking together.

“Lexa.” Clarke held me tightly, rubbing her arms frantically, trying to cause friction in my arms to warm me up. “Thanks, Clarke. We got our first, let’s go ring our bell!”

We made it back to the house in record time. We were the first. We put our cooler on the block with our names and slapped the timer.

“Go find another?” Lincoln asked.

Octavia grinned widely, pulling out another laminated card.

“Let’s do this!”


	31. Discovering Us Part 2 FINALE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The finale, a heartwarming Clexa chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The finale! But don't worry, this story is far from over! The first chapter of the sequel will be posted this weekend, probably Saturday!

“We did it!” Octavia cheered. We looked at the two coolers we brought back. Jasper and Monty’s team brought back the third and final cooler. “Admit it, we’re awesome.”

Clarke chuckled as everyone begrudgingly admitted our team was awesome. Octavia, Lincoln, Clarke, and I kicked ass in that game. We were the kings today.

“Congrats, guys.” Roan smiled, winking at me. Which annoyed me and made Clarke jealous, which was pretty cute, I must say. “Now, who’s hungry?”

We all cheered, especially the guys. They were all-besides Monty-bottomless pits. I have no idea what they meant when they said they worked _so_ hard looking for the coolers. _I’m_ the one who dove into an ice-cold river. _The jerks_.

Octavia insisted that since our team found the most coolers that we should be able to sit back and relax while the other built the fire and cooked the food. So that’s what we did. _And I loved it_.

            “Here you go, miss,” Roan handed me my plate with a cheeky smile.

            “You do know you’re nine years older than me, right?”

            He shrugged, winked, and walked away. Clarke huffed, sitting down beside me. “I used to like him-strictly as a friend-but lately I just want to kill him.” I chuckled. “I’m serious, Lex! All he does is flirt with you. He’s like in love with you or something.”

            “ _Klark_. He’s _infatuated_. Love is what you and I have, _ai hodnes_.”

            She sighed heavily as she reached for the plate Monty handed her.

            “Klark. Don’t get upset over him. He’s more or less just playing around. He knows how much I love you, and he knows even death can’t keep the two of us apart. There’s nothing in this world that could ever make me not love you, nothing that could make me leave you.”

            “Nothing?”

            “Nothing. I promise, _ai hodnes_.”

            “Hmm.” She rested her head on my shoulder and I smiled contently. “I love it when you call me that.”

            “Ai hod yu in, Klark kom Skaikru.”

            “Ai hod yu in, Heda Lexa kom Trikru."

                                                                        ****

            Cuddling is my favorite thing to do with Clarke. I love cuddling more than kissing, more than even sex. Just being able to curl up against her, to feel warm and safe. She loved it, too. That’s what we did most nights. _Maybe someday, neither of us will owe anything to our people_. Someday was here, so we took our time with life. No rushing, just being us, being with each other the right way.

            “Lex?” she asked as she ran a hand through my hair.

            “Hmm?”

            “I never want this moment to end.”

            “Neither do I.”

            We were in bed, snug under the covers, resting on the mountain of pillows. She was laying on her back, with me curled up against her. an arm draped across her stomach, my head laying on her chest, listening to the sound of her heartbeat and feeling the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. She alternated from stroking my hair to rubbing my back. Even though I was the previous Commander, I was the more fragile one. I felt feelings so strongly. I have been too strong for too long. While I wouldn’t have traded being Heda for anything, I still resented it sometimes because it robbed me. It robbed me of a normal childhood. Robbed me of my feelings. Robbed me of having fun, which is why I’m so sensitive, so lively in this world. I got a second chance, and I wasn’t going to give it up. I got a chance to love again, to have freedom.

            Clarke is my second chance, my future, my everything.

            You might say I’m too young to know what love is. That I’m too young to say she’s the one, to be ready to settle down, to be done with searching for my soulmate because I had her right here.

            Her arms wrapped around me, her heartbeat beating in my ears, her heart-so strong and so loving-in my hands. With her, I was never Heda. I’ve always been Lexa. Just Lexa. Our hearts beat together as one, as we held each other and drifted off to sleep, looking forward to the future and to what would come our way.


End file.
